Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Here’s how Chris and Charlotte, The Pleasure Mechanics, got into kinky sex. Hear about their near disaster stories, kinky sex clubs in San Francisco and more.
Ready to embark on your own kinky adventure? Check out the Kinky Sex Mastery Online Course and set sail tonight!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Do you fantasize about feeling the pulse of arousal move through your body as your lover moans in pleasure at your feet? Are you ready to let your inner beast out to play once in awhile? Is it a turn on to think about your lover tied up and vulnerable, ready for your next touch?
If the idea of sexual dominance turns you on, you are not alone. Most people, to one degree or another, are aroused by the idea of being dominant in the bedroom. This role can be called the “dominant” or the “giver” or the “top” but whatever you call it, it means one thing: claiming erotic power and using it for mutual pleasure.
Sexual dominance can take many forms:
In the Kinky Sex Mastery Course, you have the opportunity to explore 6 kinds of sexual dominance and find the elements that most appeal to you. You’ll also get all of the tools you need to take control and be sexually dominant with confidence and competence.
There are many distinct pleasures that come with being sexually dominant. According to Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, authors of “The Topping Book,” here are a few of the most common reasons people love being in the role of Top. All quotes in the paragraphs below are from The Topping Book:
Your challenge is to think about dominant role models from books or videos that inspire you. Then identify their specific kinds of dominance and what particular dominant pleasures might interest you. Try to start getting specific about what arouses you about sexual dominance.
When you are ready to set out on a guided adventure into kink, enroll in the Kinky Sex Mastery Online Course.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Ready to explore kinky sex?
Want to know how to be kinky but don’t know where to get started?
We are here to guide you on the adventure!
If you know you are ready to learn how to be kinky, enroll now in our Kinky Sex Mastery Course!
But maybe you are thinking:
We understand all of these thoughts. We’ve even had some of them ourselves. We know that trying new things in bed can be scary and overwhelming. We get that it can be hard to ask your partner to play along with your desires.
That’s exactly what inspired us to design this course for you!
Over the past few years (especially since the 50 Shades craze!) we have heard from THOUSANDS of you who long for kinkier, rougher and more creative play in bed. You want more thrills, more excitement, more sensation. But you don’t know how to get started.
Searching the internet won’t help – we know because we tried. Even the “beginner” kink education out there is way too risky and too much for most people. Most of what is out there just sets you up for failure.
We weren’t happy with what we found – so we have spent over a year designing a course just for you.
This is a true beginner’s course – we take you step by step through building the skills of kink so you can be free to explore your deepest desires. But let’s be clear: you’ll have the chance to explore everything from intense sensation to bondage, from domination to roleplaying. Beginner doesn’t mean boring, it means we are setting you up for wildly successful explorations!
Want to discover how to be kinky? Enroll now in Kinky Sex Mastery and start your adventure now!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing was a prominent German psychologist and forensic expert who published Psychopathia Sexualis in 1886. This was a European best seller, went into over a dozen editions in the author’s lifetime, and the book is now considered one of the first texts in sexology, the scientific study of sexuality.
He worked in asylums and his case studies were mostly of the criminally insane. He studied the sexual behaviors of his inmates and created categories to understand the patterns he witnessed. His interpretations of their sexual behavior became the first textbook of early sexology and created categories of sexual deviance that are still with us today. The book was aimed at doctors and lawyers who wanted to diagnose and criminalize specific types of sexual deviance.
The book popularized the terms sadism (derived from the sexual behavior depicted in the novels of Marquis de Sade) and masochism (derived from the name of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, author of Venus In Furs, an erotic story about male submission to a woman) and outlined the many variations of these patterns.
During this early period of sexology, doctors also began shifting focus away from abnormal behaviors (what people did) to categorizing people into identity categories (who people are.) It was suggested that sexual deviance was an inborn disorder rather than a simple behavior.
Categories of sexual deviance were created so that individuals could be diagnosed, treated and discussed. It is interesting to note that, because it was so explicit and a veritable catalog of sexual deviance, the book’s title page declares that “ The sale of the book is rigidly restricted to the members of the medical and legal professions.
In the introduction he writes:
The object of this treatise is merely to record the
various psychopathological manifestations of sexual life in
man and to reduce them to their lawful conditions. This
task is bj no means an easy one, and the author is well
aware of the fact that, despite his (varied) far-reaching
experience in psychiatry and criminal medicine, he is yet
unable to offer anything but an imperfected system.The importance of the subject, however, demands
scientific research on account of its forensic bearing and
its deep influence upon the common weal. The medical
barrister only then finds out how sad the lack of our
knowledge is in the domain of sexuality when he is called
upon to express an opinion as to the responsibility of the
accused whose life, liberty and honour are at stake. He
then begins to appreciate the efforts that have been made
to bring light into darkness.
Like most scientists of his time, Krafft-Ebing considered procreation the purpose of sexual desire and thought that any form of recreational sex was a perversion of the sex drive. “With opportunity for the natural satisfaction of the sexual instinct, every expression of it that does not correspond with the purpose of nature, propagation,must be regarded as perverse.”
The first chapter of the book begins:
The propagation of the human race is not left to mere
accident or the caprices of the individual, but is guaran-
teed by the hidden laws of nature which are enforced by
a mighty, irresistible impulse. Sensual enjoyment and
physical fitness are not the only conditions for the en-
forcement of these laws, but higher motives and aims,
such as the desire to continue the species or Ihe individu-
ality of mental and physical qualities beyond time and
space, exert a considerable influence. Man puts himself
at once on a level with the beast if he seeks to gratify
lust alone, but he elevates his superior position when by
curbing the animal desire he combines with the sexual
functions ideas of morality, of the sublime, and the beau-
tiful.If man were deprived of sexual distinction and the
nobler enjoyments arising therefrom, all poetry and prob-
ably all moral tendency would be eliminated from his life.Sexual life no doubt is the one mighty factor in the
individual and social relations of man which disclose his
powers of activity, of acquiring property, of establishing a
homo, of awakening altruistic sentiments towards a person
of the opposite sex, and towards his own issue as well as
towards the whole human race.
He defined sadism as lust aroused by cruelty, and masochism aslust aroused by being the object of cruelty.
Coupled with perversions of sexual life and sexual im-
becility springing from the same degenerated soil, often
with the aiding influence of alcohol, the most monstrous and
horrible sexual excesses (cf. Sadism) are perpetrated
which would disgrace humanity at large, could they be
committed by normal man.The commission of these atrocious acts by degenerated
and partially defective individuals is the outcome of an ir-
resistible impulse or delirium. The mechanism of these
actions is indeed the property of psychical degeneration.By masochism I understand a peculiar perversion of
the psychical vita sexualis in which the individual affected,
in sexual feeling and thought, is controlled by the idea of
being completely and unconditionally subject to the will
of a person of the opposite sex; of being treated by this
person as by a master, humiliated and abused.
This understanding of sadism and masochism persisted for over a century.
Because we live in a sexually violent culture with widespread sexual abuse, it is essential to differentiate between people who are enjoying actually hurting others and those who enjoy playing with consensual power exchange with another healthy adult.
For this reason, we don’t like to use the terms sadomasochism, sadist or masochist to describe consensual kink. We believe making the distinction between cruelty and kink is essential to releasing the stigma associated with kinky sex.
It has been over 125 years since Psychopathia Sexualis described the disorders of sadism and masochism, and the medical field applied this diagnosis to anyone who expressed an interest in kinky sex, whether or not it was consensual. This failure to differentiate between truly criminal behavior (rape, torture, non-consensual power games) and consensual kinky sex created tremendous stigma for healthy kinky adults.
The stigma associated with kinky sex, much like the stigma around homosexuality, created an underground subculture that only now is becoming more public. The kinky community was forced to stay very private, and individuals faced discrimination and judgement if they came out in public as kinky.
In the 1970’s a few brave pioneers began coming out as kinky and establishing themselves as leaders and advocates for the kink community.
In the late 1980’s members of the BDSM community began organizing to end the stigma associated with being interested in kinky sex. Race Bannon and Guy Baldwin (amongst others) took on the immense task of educating therapists about consensual kinky sex.
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom got on board, offering education to therapists, police officers and other professionals about the difference between kink and abuse.
“A sexual sadist practices on non-consenting people,” explains NCSF founder Susan Wright, while “someone who is kinky is having consensual enthusiastically desired sex.”
The idea that kinky sex was a sign of mental illness was oficially on the books until 2010, when the American Psychiatric Association announced that it would be changing the diagnostic codes for BDSM, fetishism, and transvestic fetishism (a variant of cross-dressing) in the next edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published in 2013.
Now, in 2015, we are still only at the beginning of recognizing kinky sex behaviors as part of the spectrum of normal and healthy sexual expression.
Many people still understand kinky behavior as “deviant” or “perverted.” These attitudes are firmly rooted in the history of sexual medicine that draws upon texts such as the 1886 publication Psychopathia Sexualis. We must ask ourselves if we want our sexual ethics based on a manual from a 19th century insane asylum or if it is time for a new understanding of human sexual expression.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Are you bored in bed?
Stuck in a routine?
Longing for the days of thrilling sex and passionate connection?
If so, you are not alone. Most of the emails we receive tell the same story: boredom, ruts and long lost libidos.
Here’s the truth: there is a proven path to more pleasure, and it is available to you right now.
That path? Kink. And whether or not you already know it, you are kinky.
Not everyone is into handcuffs and pain in bed. Not everyone wants to be tied up and spanked. But everyone has a little bit of kink inside their erotic soul, just waiting to come out.
Our new course, Kinky Sex Mastery, is your guided tour into the adventure of kinky sex. We guide you every step of the way so you can explore the thrills of kink while staying safe and strengthening your relationship.
But what does it mean to be kinky?
Here’s how we define Kinky Sex:
We all have cravings, interests and turn-ons that don’t fit into our standard sexual script. But very few people take action and actively explore kinky sex.
After talking to hundreds of men and women about kinky sex, here are the top reasons people don’t explore kink:
Here is the truth: human sexuality is wildly creative, diverse and surprising. We are capable of being aroused by just about anything, and using that arousal for pure orgasmic fun or profound emotional connection.
For centuries, we’ve been sold the lie that “good” and “normal” sexuality consists of just a few basic sex acts performed within a reproductive marriage. Finally, we are realizing that this limiting view is not only incorrect but damaging. Most of us are suffering in silence with desires we don’t understand and longings that remain unfulfilled.
Finally, kinky sex is being unleashed out of the shadows of shame. We are slowly giving ourselves permission to explore “out of the box” sexuality. But this leap isn’t easy. In fact, for many people, it is scary to confront their own desires and ask their partner to try something new.
That’s where we come in. When you are ready to take the first step towards a lifetime of kinky adventures, enroll in our Kinky Sex Mastery course. Then, we will guide you every step of the way as you build the skills you need to safely and securely play with the thrills of kink. Over the course of 25 date nights, we give you everything you need to discover your desires, communicate with your partner and start getting hands-on experience with kinky skills.
You’ll find that exploring kinky sex not only gives you access to a whole new world of arousal and erotic experiences, it will also strengthen your relationship. You’ll discover surprising new sides to one another, remember what it feels like to be excited again, and develop advanced communication skills that will serve you in and out of the bedroom.