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The Kivin Method of Cunnilingus

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The Kivin Method of Cunnilingus : Free Podcast Episode

A member of our community asked us about The Kivin Method cunnilingus technique.

In this week’s podcast, we review this technique and share what makes it work and what is just fluff.

So tune in (hit the play button at the top of this page!) and hear what makes this cunnilingus technique work – and join in our experiment to test some of it’s more questionable suggestions! Be a part of debunking (or proving!) this internet-famous oral sex position.

Ready to master Oral Artistry? Join our online course for an immersive exploration of oral pleasure for ALL bodies.

The Kivin Method Of Cunnilingus

No one knows where the Kivin method came from – most likely early internet forums, and the rest is urban legend.

Here are the full classic instructions for The Kivin Method (with Pleasure Mechanics commentary following!) We have updated the classic instructions replacing “man” and “woman” with “giver” and “receiver”

Kivin Method of Cunnilingus

    • The giver lies perpendicular to the receiver at a 90-degree angle to their hip (put your face at a right angle to their pussy, rather than “head on”) 
    • The receiver’s only responsibility is to receive sensation (click here for more on the skill of receiving oral sex)
    • The giver uses a back-and-forth tongue stroke over the hood of the clitoris. Givers who have practiced this technique have said that when the receivers is aroused, they can feel two bumps on either side of the clitoral hood that feel like half grains of rice. These are the “K points” (when the clitoris is aroused and erect, it swells! Keep in mind here that the clitoris is the anatomical match to the head of the penis. So when erect, both reveal different textures and push nerve endings closer to surface)
    • The C point is how to get immediate feedback from the receiver that you are in the right place. The giver places their middle finger on the perineum, the C point, which is the muscular smooth area between the vagina and anus. Make sure your nails are short and that she can only feel your finger pad, not your nail.
    • The reason you will get immediate feedback is when your tongue is stroking in the correct place, the woman will experience involuntary, preorgasmic contractions in this area. (The entire pelvic muscles contract and expand during arousal, the perineum is just one great place you can feel it and respond to it!)
    • Your finger doesn’t move; it stays still, because if you do move your finger you may move her concentration from the clitoral hood area to the perineum (Perineal massage is actually AMAZING and can be a compliment to the oral stimulation of the clitoris. This is just one more tool in your approach at stimulating the entire sexual system. In all bodies the perineum is an amazing spot for stimulation. We offer a full suite of perineal massage techniques in the Foreplay Mastery Course)
    • By reading the recipient’s body, you will be able to maintain correct tongue placement without wondering, “Am I there? Where is there? Have I moved from there?” (Don’t stress too much about “correct tongue placement” as you will relax into it and your tongue and face will know how to move with and respond to your partner’s arousal!)
    • Once you have started, don’t stop. Continue past their initial orgasmic response, as often this stimulation is the most intense and satisfying portion of the orgasm. (Stop when they pushes your head away, grips your head and holds you still or bucks wildly away from you. Read their cues and ride it out together. And learn how to ride from orgasm to orgasm to explore multiple orgasms together!)
  • Some couples have added a position adjustment: The receiver curls their legs up to their chest and the giver uses their arm to keep them pushed back and stabilized. In this way, the giver is very widely spread open and can receive even more intense stimulation. (Try lots of different oral sex positions! Facesitting anyone?)

The Kivin Method of Cunnilingus is just one more approach to experiment with together – what matters is finding the ways you love to play, bring one another lots of pleasure and explore high states of arousal. Don’t get stressed about any one technique or position – your two bodies need to fit together, as they are right now. Use pillows and props for added comfort. And remember that often it is the emotional blocks and distractions that get in the way of female pleasure, not the guy’s willingness to flick his tongue in the right spot (but great technique goes a long way, no doubt!)

Want more strategies to maximize female arousal and orgasm? Check out our Foreplay Mastery Course – here is what a few of our couples had to say about the course:

The Art Of The Blowjob

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Art of Blowjob Podcast Episode

Oral pleasure is one of the most divisive of intimate acts. Most men want way more, but many women cringe at the thought of it. Couples use it as a bargaining tool.  Women use it as a way of avoiding other kinds of intimacy. Men long to be treated to a long and luxurious session of oral pleasure, only to be let down by a “let’s get it over with” attitude.

Perhaps we’ve all been cheated by the story we tell about it. Does it have to be a demeaning, humiliating experience for the woman giving it? What if, instead, it was understood as an act of love, a profound gift of pleasure offered with pride? What if women were encouraged to find the pleasure of giving enjoying the sensation of her lover’s most tender parts in her mouth? What if women could get off on playing with the power dynamics of oral pleasure, feeling as dominant or submissive as she wishes? What if oral pleasure could be an erotic experience for both lovers?

A few of you have probably experienced the joy of finding mutual pleasure in oral. For anyone who is still struggling to figure out how to make this a more enjoyable experience, this week’s podcast is a must-listen.

This week, we interviewed the producer of elegant adult websites that portray oral pleasure with reverence, humor and beauty. We talk about how to reframe the conversation in a way that puts women in the driver’s seat and encourages them to find their own pleasure in giving this most intimate of pleasures. We share strategies for both giver and receiver to maximize pleasure for all involved!

More on oral pleasure, including exclusive bonus tips from Sophie Delancey on The Art of Blowjobs, can be found in the Foreplay Mastery Course

Are Facials Degrading?

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Are Facials Degrading?

 

Facials have a bad reputation. Many consider them to be degrading and humiliating. But do they have to be? In this episode we explore what makes a sex act degrading. Facials involve a man ejaculating on his partner’s face, usually as part of oral sex. Are they considered degrading because ejaculate itself is considered dirty? Or because oral sex is thought of as an act of degradation? What if we think about semen as a pleasurable, life-giving fluid? Could facials be part of loving, tender sex? Listen in and see what you think!

Here is the email from a listener that we answer in this episode:

Hey Pleasure Mechanics,

First of all, thanks for the show. My boyfriend and I both listen to it, usually separately, but often have great conversations prompted by the show. Most recently, episode #71 helped us have a huge breakthrough about my orgams/ orgasms during sex. But that’s not my question. My question is about facials. He really loves coming on my face, and to be honest I don’t mind it that much. But it came up in conversation with a friend recently because she was saying how degrading it is and that no self respecting woman would let it happen. I got really embarrassed but didn’t say anything to her right then. But then the other night, I was going down on my boyfriend and he wanted to end with a facial, and I felt sick all of a sudden. Have I been letting him degrade me this whole time? I love this guy and can even see us getting married someday – is letting him do this to me making me less of wife material? Should I stop letting him do this? Honestly, I had never really thought about it until my friend brought it up, and I was curious what you think about it. Thanks! ~ Deena

Fellatio : Discover How To Love Giving Oral Sex

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Fellatio

A listener wants to know if she can learn to love giving her boyfriend oral sex. We seize the opportunity to offer tips and strategies to make giving blow jobs way more pleasurable!

Many women don’t like giving blowjobs, and no wonder: the way porn depicts blowjobs is not that pleasurable for the woman!

But if we shift the model and learn how to make fellatio into a complete erotic experience, it can be a major turn on for women to give their men so much pleasure with their hands and mouth!

 

Fellatio can be an incredible part of a fulfilling sex life. But for fellatio to be pleasurable for the giver, it needs to be approached as a gift freely given, rather than a chore to endure.

We cover techniques to make oral sex easier to give, including  how to use handjob techniques to stimulate the shaft while focusing oral stimulation on the sensitive head of the penis. To master these skills (and way more!) check out our Foreplay Mastery Course.

We also cover communication techniques so you can make your fellatio uniquely yours by choosing what kind of erotic energy you want to play with, what parts of blowjobs you like and what you want to avoid.

Fellatio can be a loving, joyful expression of pleasure. Learn how to love oral sex!

Check out our complete list of Speaking of Sex episodes!

Here’s the question that inspired this podcast. You can submit a question to be answered on future episodes on our Ask Us Anything page!
Stephanie writes:
Hey Pleasure Mechanics,
Thanks for your awesome podcast. My boyfriend and I listen to it together and it has prompted lots of great conversations. He encouraged me to write in with an issue that has been a problem for us for years.
Like most guys, he loves blowjobs. The problem is, I don’t love giving him oral sex. I don’t have any problem with the idea of it, and at first it is ok, but after a few minutes I just feel like I am choking and drooling and it is a total turn-off. He knows I don’t like it so he has stopped asking, but I know it is something he wants more of. So my question is, is this something I can learn to love? Any tips for making going down more fun?

Master The Art of Cunnilingus

Cunnilingus

Cunnilingus, the fancy name for oral sex on a woman, is one of the most exquisite and intimate of all sex acts. It is also one of the most challenging for many couples to enjoy. Discover proven strategies to enjoy sensational oral sex with The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Cunnilingus, part of the Foreplay Mastery Online Course.

The Art of Cunnilingus

Designed to be read by both giver and receivers of cunnilingus, this book covers not only the physical techniques of amazing oral sex, but also the emotional issues that arise around this highly intimate act.

There are a lot of books out there that cover a few basic techniques for giving oral sex. But let’s face it: no fancy tongue stroke will bring her pleasure if she is unable to receive the pleasure you are offering. Many women struggle with common roadblocks that prevent them from relaxing and receiving the pleasures of oral sex. The skill of receiving oral pleasure is as important as the skills of giving – and this book covers both in thorough detail, offering effective strategies and proven techniques for maximum pleasure. One by one, we confront the most common issues that stand in the way of enjoying oral sex, and offer specific strategies to overcome them and get on your way to learning how to love receiving oral pleasure.

ForeplayGRCover

From extended warm-up strategies to techniques to ride the waves of multiple orgasms, we cover the art of cunnilingus with clear, practical techniques that you’ll be able to use right away. You’ll learn how to read your lover’s body cues and communicate both verbally and non-verbally to optimize your experience of oral stimulation. We skip the gimmicks and silly suggestions (who is actually going to write the alphabet with their tongue on their lover’s clitoris?) and go straight to highly effective techniques that work with the anatomy of the female sexual system to create maximum arousal.

Beyond the lick-by-lick guide to oral pleasure, you’ll learn how to integrate one or both hands to double (or triple!) her pleasure as you stimulate her clitoris with your mouth, and how to amp up the pleasure with a variety of sex toys. We also cover ten unique tongue exercises to develop endurance and precision, so you can offer her as much intense, focused stimulation as she desires.

CunnilingusOral sex can be an incredibly pleasurable part of your sex life – as a treat in and of itself and as a fabulous way to bring up the heat before intercourse. Gain the mastery you need to enjoy sensational oral sex, and savor a lifetime of pleasure.

 

Ready to master the art of pleasuring women?

Enroll in our Foreplay Mastery Course and get started tonight!

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