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How To Have Spontaneous Sex

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Here is how to have more spontaneous sex – without enduring the common pitfalls of quickies!

Most people want more spontaneous sex – but we also know that the body and mind need to be prepared for orgasmic, satisfying sex. Arousal takes time to build – so what space does that leave for spontaneous sex and quickies?

In this episode we cover:

  • how to capture the energy and excitement of spontaneous sex
  • how to prolong foreplay over days and weeks
  • how to stay warm so it is easier to get hot
  • the importance of spontaneous affection
  • the difference between spontaneous sex and quickies
  • the kind of quickies to have more of – and the kind of quickies to avoid

We also cover spontaneous sex in Episode 154, featuring Esther Perl on the myth of spontaneous sex.

This episode was inspired by the following question, submitted by a listener:

Dear Pleasure Mechanics,

My husband found you about six months ago when my relationship was really at a standstill. I never enjoyed sex the way we had been having it but didn’t know what to ask for.  He hated that I wasn’t enjoying it, so stopped initiating it. Before we found you, we didn’t have sex for about a year and were both kind of giving up on it. Then through the magic of google he found you, and signed up for the foreplay course. Your course helped us start more conversations and I was able to ask for the kind of warm up I now know my body needs before I can enjoy intercourse. Turns out he was more than happy to provide once I was able to ask. For this, I thank you.

I hope I am not pushing my luck here by asking for more help. My question is about spontaneous sex. Now that I know I need lots of time for warm-up, does that rule out quickies? Is spontaneous sex ever an option?

Thanks again for all your help,

Monica

Curious about igniting your own sexual breakthrough? Click here to explore the Pleasure Mechanics online courses!

The Myth Of Spontaneous Sex

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The Myth of Spontaneous Sex :: Free Podcast Episode

In this podcast Charlotte reads and talks about an excerpt from Esther Perel’s book: Mating In Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. She grapples with the myth that spontaneous sex is good sex, and to plan sex makes it less sexy. This is an essential and important myth to unravel in a long term relationship to maintain a rich erotic life.

Spontaneous Sex

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Spontaneous Sex: Free Podcast EpisodeWant more spontaneous sex? Turns out, you may have to let go of the myth of spontaneous sex. This is just one of the paradoxical insights about desire and domesticity from sex therapist Esther Perel.

In this passage from Mating In Captivity, Esther unpacks the myth of spontaneous sex and invites us into a more conscious relationship with desire and erotic initiation.

Get the audiobook of Mating In Captivity for FREE with your free trial from Audible.com

Buy Mating In Captivity at Amazon.com

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