Sexual rejection hurts – here is how to soften the blow when your partner initiates sex and you are not into it.
Medical research shows that of all human emotions, rejection is the one that registers as physical pain.
So it is no wonder that when it comes to initiating sex, most people give up after being rejected a few times.
But if you both give up initiating sex, you are well on your way to being in a sexless marriage.
This is why it is so essential to put lots of time and effort into all of the warm up and seduction steps that we talk about so often.
But even in the warmest of relationships, sex is not always on the menu. So when you initiate intimacy, let go of your agenda. Make an agreement that intercourse is not always the inevitable finale of intimacy.
Maybe your partner is just in the mood for a long luxurious back rub! Are you willing to give them that experience?
Maybe they really want to relax and receive. Are you prepared to lavish them in erotic touch?
Maybe you both just want to get naked and cuddle!
By agreeing that intimacy can look any number of ways, depending on your authentic desires, you open your love life up to way more “yes” responses and the ability to initiate intimacy fearlessly.
Even if the “yes” is a simple hug and long kiss, those micro-moments of connection add up to a way more pleasurable relationship – one where you’ll want to have an affair with your lover for many years to come!
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Check out this Ted talk on Emotional First Aid for more on why rejection can hurt, and how to tend to those hurts.