Pleasure Mechanics

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Vulva

Clitoris DiagramThe word vulva refers to the external genitals. The word vagina refers just to the internal shaft. Neither of these terms, nor any of the slang for female genitals, accurately reflects the entire sexual system.

The vulva includes the labia, the clitoris and the area around the entrance to the vagina. The vulva is where most women experience the most pleasure, especially the clitoris. For our stroke-by-stroke video guide to pleasure the entire female sexual system, including clitoral stimulation and internal vaginal and g-spot stimulation, check out our Foreplay Mastery Course.

Oral Sex

Oral Sex is an immensely pleasurable and intimate act. “Oral sex” usually describes the act of bringing your lover to climax using your mouth, lips and tongue. Many people love receiving oral sex – the warm, wet sensations of oral pleasure is an experience that is incomparable, and can’t be recreated with any sex toy.

Ready to master Oral Artistry? Join our online course for an immersive exploration of oral pleasure for ALL bodies.

Podcast Episodes About Oral Sex

  • Episode 344: How To Make Oral Sex More Intense
  • Episode #184: Cunnilingus Techniques
  • Episode #133: The Kivin Method of Cunnilingus
  • Episode #091: The Art of the Blowjob
  • Episode #077: Are Facials Degrading?
  • Episode #003: How To Master Cunnilingus

Blowjobs

BlowjobsFor many guys, blowjobs are one of the best kinds of sex. Oral sex is an amazing opportunity to simply relax and receive, allowing all of your attention to focus on the sensations and arousal you are feeling. Many guys spend a lot of time in sex being really active – blowjobs are a great opportunity for men to enjoy simply receiving.

We get a lot of questions about how to give a better blowjob. The easy answer? Enthusiasm. Let your guy know that you are enjoying going down on him, that is something you can enjoy doing, not just a favor or a chore.

It is also essential to learn how to use your hands in combination with your mouth to stimulate the entire penis. Even if you can deep throat for a little while, there is no way to get the amount of pressure and stimulation that most men want with your mouth alone. So master your handjob skills, and then coordinate your hands and mouth – your hands stimulating the shaft of his penis while your mouth focuses on the sensitive head.

How To Give The Best Blowjob Ever

We are currently running sex surveys for both givers and receivers of oral sex for men. Here are some tips and suggestions gathered so far. Take the surveys and contribute your own sex wisdom about how to give great blowjobs!

How Women Feel About Giving Blowjobs:

Some women love giving blowjobs, others hate it. The whole range of feelings about giving oral sex were reflected in our survey responses:

“The feelings in my mouth and pussy are symbiotic – one enhances the other. Sometimes I can come just from sucking cock (with a few nipple tweaks to help!)”

“Honestly, I ONLY enjoy giving oral sex to get his cock wet enough for penetration. Otherwise I don’t enjoy it but I will still sometimes do it if we are mutually masturbating and he wants me to finish him off with my mouth.”

What Men Can Do For Better Blowjobs:

“Wash. Trim. Be engaged-let us know if what we’re doing is working for you. Let us know if it isn’t. But DON’T just sit there and wait through something that’s just kind of meh. Know where the “I love playing with your cock”-“oh my gosh my jaw and arms are tired, stop thinking about your grandparents” line is. And don’t cross it. We like pleasing you. Don’t drag it out forever though!”

“Caress and touch me sensually, the more aroused I become the more aggressive and passionate I become towards his penis.”

“I love it if he gently holds my hair back, but if his hands get hard and he holds my head like he’s fucking a cantaloupe, forget it!”

Queening

 Assume The Position: The Erotic Act of Queening

Queening

Queening is the art of facesitting, usually but not exclusively with a female on top, immersing the lucky human beneath her in the full glory of her genitals.

Some queening fans use stools or boxes especially designed for the purpose, either for comfort or for the added effect of a “throne” or the restraint of a “smothering box.”

The position of Queening allows the woman on top to control the amount of contact between her genitals and her lover’s tongue and mouth. This can be used strategically to tease, to smother, to immerse, to taunt, to tantalize.

Queening is best approached with an attitude of worship towards the woman on top. Many people who like to be “on the bottom” in this scenario simply love the full facial contact with the pussy, love feeling smothered with the weight of their lover, enjoy being out of control and submitted to the act of bringing pleasure to their lover.

It can take confidence to assume the queening position. If your partner is eager to try it out, try to trust their enthusiasm and see if you can find the pleasure in their arousal. Some women find it hard to climax while in the queening position. If this is the case, try out this position for short periods of time and then switch to a position that you can relax into as you approach orgasm.

For more on how to enjoy amazing oral sex, check out The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Cunnilingus, included in the Foreplay Mastery Course.

This complete guide covers queening and other positions for amazing oral sex, as well as extensive techniques for giving amazing oral stimulation, communication techniques and strategies to overcome roadblocks that prevent you from enjoying the pleasures of oral sex.

Female Masturbation Techniques

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Female Masturbation Techniques

Masturbation is a healthy, pleasurable part of your sex life. Whether or not you are in a relationship, making time to masturbate allows you to experience way more pleasure and unleash more powerful orgasms! Here are some thoughts on essential female masturbation techniques to get you exploring with confidence.

Masturbation is how you get to know your own body. In this episode, we first explore how to get in touch with your desires,  get more aroused and learn how to have orgasms. Then, you can bring all of this knowledge to your partnered sex so you can enjoy more pleasure with your lover.

Learning new female masturbation techniques can help you discover whole new parts of your sexuality and become more in touch with how you like to be touched.

Female Masturbation Techniques: Use Your Hands

Female Masturbation TechniquesUse your hands to explore your entire sexual system. Don’t rush right to your clitoris. Explore what it feels like to touch your labia, your mons and the perineum. Try lots of different kinds of stimulation to wake up new kinds of sensation. You can also zero in on the clitoris to get to orgasm – but try to experience more kinds of stimulation as you build arousal.

Many of these techniques are demonstrated in our Foreplay Mastery Course, and can be used either with a partner or as female masturbation techniques.

Essential Female Masturbation Techniques : Explore Your Sexual System

First, rest your hand on the mons and just take a few relaxed breaths.

Find the outer labia. Touch the entire outside labia, gliding one or two fingers along the length. Then, gather the flesh of the outer labia (might be quite a lot, or a small ripple of tissue) and gently pinch and roll the labia between your fingers.

Feel the texture of the lips and notice what, if any sensation, you are creating. Some people have quite a lot of erotic sensation in their outer labia – other women have very little.

Try this stroke with the inner labia as well if there is enough flesh to play with. The shape and size of the labia is different for every woman – but all have the potential of being a pleasurable part of the female sexual anatomy. Explore the area and notice what sensations you can create by stimulating the labia.  Stimulating the labia is important, as it brings blood flow to the genitals and begins waking up the area without direct clitoral stimulation.

The perineum is a highly sensitive part of the female anatomy that often goes overlooked. The perineum is a nexus of nerves and an intersection of musculature. Use your thumb in small circles on the perineum. Pulse in and out, using quite deep pressure. Move one finger in small circles around the perineum.

Rest your fingers just outside the entrance to the vagina. Pause. Explore this area of the opening – there are a lot of nerve endings here and circling around the outside can be highly stimulating. Use a fingerpad and trace circles around the entrance,  and trace small circles for a few moments just inside the entrance along the bottom wall, then vibrate your finger a little.

If you can reach, use your own fingers to explore your g-spot and try a range of stimulation techniques to see how much sensation you can feel inside. Try circles, long strokes, pulses and vibrations around the g-spot and see what feels best. Combine g-spot stimulation with clitoral stimulation for maximum pleasure.

Female Masturbation Techniques: Use Toys

We believe that hands are the best sexual tool ever invented! But there are lots of female masturbation techniques that can only be explored with toys. Check out our page on sex toys to get linked up to some of our favorite toys.

Smartballs are one of our favorite kinds of sex toys. These weighted balls arouse a lot of vaginal sensation, strengthen your pelvic muscles and can be a great compliment to clitoral stimulation.

You can also explore with the wide range of sex toys that are available. Like anal stimulation? Try incorporating butt plugs into your masturbation. Love your nipples played with? Put nipple clamps on and tug at them as you touch your clitoris. Your body is your own playground – explore it fully!

The more female masturbation techniques you experiment with, the more knowledge you will gain about your sexuality. Then you’ll be able to communicate with your lover and ask for exactly what you want in bed.

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