Pleasure Mechanics

Q&A: How To Last Longer During Massage

Question::

Hi Pleasure Mechanics,

Your books and tapes are great!  Thank you so much for making them.

My girlfriend wanted me to pass along a question. I am 6’1″ and she is 5’1″. It is very easy for me to message her whole body as my hands are relatively large compared to her body, where as her hands are very small compared to mine, and she gets tired pretty quickly. Do you have any advice for how she can conserve her energy and power when she is messaging?

Many thanks!

Ed

Answer::

Hi Ed!

This is a great question, and we’ll try to make a youtube video responding to it, as I am sure it is a common one.
A few things to try right away:
Most importantly, make sure to use body weight rather than muscle to create pressure. Transfer weight into your hands as if you were doing a push-up into your lover’s body. Then maintain this pressure and glide (make sure you are using oil!) Our favorite position for in bed is one knee planted in between the thighs, the other foot just under the armpit. This allows you to transfer your body weight forward.
Two, make sure to use lots of different parts of the hands and arms to massage so no one part gets tired. Since you are a big guy, explore using her forearms to glide over your big muscle groups. Just keep an eye on the elbow, as it is so hard and pointy and can hurt if it bumps into bones. think about gliding into the muscles using the broad part of the arm from wrist to just below the elbow.
Also, make sure she is staying comfortable and not wasting energy in an uncomfortable position. Depending on your bed height, standing or kneeling by the side of the bed might be more comfortable than being in bed with you.
You can also try a massage stone like this one: Contour Stone – it is a smooth tool that helps you dig into points of tension. It can be a nice way to get some satisfying pressure while giving her hands a break.
When all else fails, oil up and rub bodies! The skin to skin contact feels amazing, and it can be a nice transition into other kinds of intimacy.
Do me a favor, once you try these techniques out a few times shoot me an email and let me know what worked best for you!
Cheers,
Chris

Australian Sex Expert Jacqueline Hellyer on New Ways of Thinking About Sex

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Tune in on: Spotify | RSS

Jacqueline Hellyer

Australian sex expert Jacqueline Hellyer joins us to talk about transforming how we think and talk about sex. We cover Jacqueline’s opinions on why so many women are bored by sex, how to enjoy a more wholesome and sustainable sex life and sex as an exhausted parent.

Jacqueline is irreverent, provocative and wonderfully intelligent about sexuality.

Join Jacqueline Hellyer and Charlotte of the Pleasure Mechanics for this candid conversation that will change how you think about sex. Find more from Jacqueline at www.jacquelinehellyer.com

 

How To Prevent Cheating

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Tune in on: Spotify | RSS

How To Prevent Cheating

Cheating is one of the most common reasons that romantic relationships end. Infidelity can have devastating consequences for couples, families and individuals.

In this episode, we lay out a plan for preventing cheating and getting clear about your expectations for your relationship.

We encourage you to create an explicit agreement of trust with your lover by naming your authentic needs, desires and boundaries. With an explicit set of agreements, you are free to fully invest in  your relationship and experience the depths of intimacy and love.

More About How To Prevent Cheating

Our plan to prevent cheating is all about communicating your needs, desires and boundaries.

Your needs define your baseline requirements for feeling happy, loved and taken care of. Meeting your basic needs is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Together with your partner, you can figure out how to meet your physical and emotional needs.

Once your needs are taken care of, your authentic desires can emerge. Naming your specific desires and inviting your lover to help you fulfill them is a powerful way to create a hot, pleasurable relationship.

Finally, setting specific boundaries helps prevent cheating. To prevent the emotional betrayal of cheating, you need to be clear about what you agree to as a partnership. We challenge couples to create clear boundaries without creating excessive control or fear in their relationship. What happens if you give your lover permission to be a fully independent sexual being, while trusting they can still be devoted to you? What happens if you use flirting with other people as fuel for your own intimacy? How can monogamy be an experience of loving choice, rather than a muzzle or cage?

This podcast explores how to prevent cheating with radically honest communication and authentic expression of desire. Learn how to prevent what we call “the toxic twins” of regret and resentment, and use clear communication to get over small conflicts to prevent cheating and betrayal.

We believe it is possible to strategically create a healthy, happy relationship. Use these strategies to learn how to prevent cheating and create a more exciting, nourishing long term relationship.

Q&A: Penis Size

We get a lot of questions about penis size, and the guys that ask us tend to be obsessed with the answers! Check out our podcast episode: Does Penis Size Matter for a complete discussion about penis size!

Question:: Hi! 🙂

I’m 21-year-old white guy and my penis is 9.5 inches long and 6.75 inches in girth (so my penis is about as thick as an AXE body spray can for example). Is it big or small in your opinion? Do I have a good penis size in your opinion or is it too big or too small in length and girth?

How much the thickness of a cock matters? Do you like a thick penis and how thick is thick in your opinion? Do I have a thick one?

Also, does flaccid size matter? Do women like to see bigger flaccid dicks? My dick is about 7.5 inches when soft so is it big or small?

Hopefully you can answer 🙂

Sounds like you have a way above average, large and thick penis. Far more important than size is what you do with it, how much you are able to pleasure your lover with your hands, mouth and cock. In fact, with a penis that big, it is essential that you warm up your lover before penetrating so you don’t hurt her! Learn how to use your hands and mouth and make it a goal to give a woman at least one orgasm before you penetrate, and she’ll be much more able to take your full size inside without pain.

Enjoy your lovely cock. Use it well!

Thanks for your answer 🙂
Does women’s body type matter when it comes to penis size? I mean like are curvy girls with wide hips better to handle bigger penis than petite girls? Cause I have a new gf and she is asian and about 5′ 0” tall and she weighs about 95 Ibs so she is very petite. I just don’t want to hurt her during sex. and yeah about the flaccid size does bulge size matter? Are bigger bulges a turn on? Cause I have quite a massive bulge and sometimes it’s embarrassing when girls are laughing at me…

Women’s vaginal canals do vary in size, but there is no correalation between overall body size and vaginal size, just as there is no correalation between men’s body type and penis size (the biggest guys I have seen were all lanky skinny boys) So as I said, just go slow, explore her opening with your fingers and see what works. Also penetrate slowly, an inch at a time, so it is more pleasurable for her.

Take the girls laughing as a nervous thing, half of them are probably fantasizing about it later. As a woman out in the world I very rarely notice bulges one way or the other. Just own your body, be proud of it, and use your equipment well!

Q&A: Fisting

Question:: I’d like to know more about “fisting”. Although I hate the term (it sounds violent), my wife often enjoys a fuller “hand job”. However, my hands seem to be just a bit too broad at the knuckles and I don’t want to push it and end up giving pain rather than pleasure. Are there good quality vaginal plugs (i guess similar to a butt plug) that would be better ? Or will I eventually manage a full hand given enough arousal / time etc..

Thanks so much for all the cool info. We’ve been married for over 20 years and are trying hard to stay close and intimate despite all the pressure of teenage kids, mortgage etc etc. And thanks for thinking of us boring straight folks !! 🙂

All the best.

Hey there!

Today’s podcast episode is in response to your question. Here’s the link to listen. Let us know if you have any follow up questions or share how your experience goes! Thanks for being in touch! http://www.pleasuremechanics.com/how-to-fist/

Chris