Pleasure Mechanics

Spermatorrhea

In the 18th and 19th centuries, masturbation was considered to be the source of a laundry list of pathologies, from insanity to hair loss. Onanism, or “spilling the seed” by ejaculating outside of intercourse intended for procreation, was a sin and medical danger.

If a patient had ejaculations outside of marital intercourse, or released more semen than is typical, then he was diagnosed with a disease called spermatorrhea or “seminal weakness.” A variety of drugs (including sedation) and other severe treatments, including circumcision and castration, were advised as treatment.

This is an image of a “German Spermatorrhoea Ring,” circa 1894.  Boys were fitted with these rings, or other elaborate devices, to prevent nocturnal erections and masturbation. If the penis got erect, the sharp teeth would puncture the shaft of the penis, causing great pain and potential injury.

Women were not spared brutal medical treatment for masturbation: cauterization of the clitoris was common medical practice.

Happily, the medical field has come a long way in the past century and doctors now heartily recommend regular masturbation for both male and female sexual health. Cock rings can be left for folks to explore on a more voluntary and pleasurable basis.

 

G-Spot

If you feel confused about erotic anatomy, you are SO not alone! Most of us never learned this stuff in school. For a complete, friendly guided tour of erotic anatomy, we highly recommend spending some time with the brilliant *Atlas of Erotic Anatomy* from sex therapist Cyndi Darnell

What is the G-Spot?

G-spot is a common name for the female prostate, also known as the skene’s gland or the paraurethral gland.

Where is the G-Spot? How Do You Find the G-Spot?

The G-Spot refers to the female prostate, which is found surrounding the urethra just under the bladder. It is best stimulated through the vaginal wall. Slide a finger (after mastering our fingering techniques of course!) into the vagina and bend the fingertip towards the belly button or pubic bone – some describe this as a “come hither” motion. You’ll feel a change in texture in the vaginal wall, a rough or spongy area.

How Can I Best Stimulate the G-Spot?

G-Spot stimulation with fingers or a toy is a common way women experience orgasm. The G-Spot is sometimes stimulated during intercourse, but this is tricky guesswork (the penis has neither the dexterity nor the sensitivity of the fingers) and not the easiest way to explore G-spot stimulation. Once you have experienced g-spot orgasms through fingering, you’ll enjoy more sensation in this area during other types of lovemaking.

What is a G-Spot Orgasm?

Some women who experience strong g-spot sensations and female ejaculation refer to “g-spot orgasms” in reference to the specific range of sensations, physical release and emotional experience of an orgasm that is generated primarily through g-spot stimulation. Some women report g-spot orgasms being highly relaxing and often include elements of emotional release.

Why is there so much controversy around the g-spot?

The G-Spot is one of the most misunderstood areas of sexuality. It is not a mysterious spot that some women have and some women are missing –  it is an anatomical structure that all women have, just like all men have a prostate.

The G-Spot and Female Ejaculation have long been subject to controversy and debate amongst sex educator and the medical profession. Thankfully, there is increasing consensus that the female prostate is the anatomical match to the male prostate and shares similar functions.

Do men have a g-spot?

G-spot usually refers to the specific part of the female sexual system, the match to the male prostate. The male p-spot, sometimes called a-spot, can be stimulated via tremendously pleasurable prostate massage. We are huge fans of prostate massage – which is how we became creators of the world’s bestselling video on prostate massage!

Ejaculation

The release of sexual fluids from the urethra, usually (but not always) during sexual excitement.

Ejaculate is a combination of several body fluids- primarily prostatic fluid, fluid from the cowper’s gland and (in men) sperm.

The contractions of the pelvic muscle help propel the ejaculate fluid out of the body.

There is a lot of fuss about ejaculation in the sex education world: men want to learn how to withhold ejaculation, and women want to learn how to ejaculate. Both goals are seen as markers of enlightenment or sophistication.

Some traditions discourage frequent ejaculation, citing the emission of precious fluids as depleting to overall health and vitality. Modern medicine, however, encourages frequent ejaculation to maintain prostate health and hormone levels.

It is our position that ejaculation is just one of the many pleasurable options for sexual climax, and is neither more nor less advanced that non-ejaculatory orgasms.

Arousal, Erection, Orgasm and Ejaculation are often considered to be a package deal for men: you can’t have one without the other. To enjoy more sexual pleasure and erotic freedom, it is essential to dismantle this myth and understand these events to be complementary experiences that may come in any combination.

Sex Contracts

A sex contract is a formal agreement between two or more consenting adults acting on their own free will. This consensual agreement between lovers should never be confused with sex slavery or abuse.

Sex contracts can serve many functions within a relationship. A sex contract can be formal agreements about the values and principles you agree upon for your erotic life. Some couples who play with erotic power exchange or BDSM use sex contracts to formalize roles and boundaries. Contracts can also be used for limited periods of time, such as a vacation or date night, to create a specific experience together.

The erotic novel 50 Shades of Grey popularized the idea of sex contracts, and prompted many couples to explore the fantasy of entering formal erotic agreements and power exchanges.

Some people prefer to call it a Sex Commitment instead of a Sex Contract, which may or may not imply less formality of the agreement.

Teasing

Erotic teasing can create heightened states of arousal and more powerful orgasms. Think about how good water tastes when you are thirsty, how satisfying food can be when you are hungry.

Couples can use teasing as an ongoing form of foreplay. Brush up against your lover in the kitchen just so, but keep on walking. Kiss your lover passionately just before leaving for work. Straddle your lover and let them feel your weight, just before hopping out of bed. By creating a simple moment of arousal and then moving on, you allow that pleasure to linger in the air, creating the excitement of possibility.

Teasing can also take more intense forms, either solo or with a partner. Many people like being brought to the edge of orgasm without immediate release. Teasing can be a way of prolonging arousal and building excitement.

One sexual teasing technique is called Edging. The Edging Technique, used mostly by men, creates more pleasure by bringing arousal to just the edge of orgasm, then backing off, then building again, and so on until orgasm is desired.

Another teasing technique is called Tease and Denial. This more extreme form of teasing is used by those who eroticize the denial of orgasm. Arousal is built up, but orgasm is never permitted, creating a long-term state of pent up arousal. Tease and denial is usually used in the context of power play, but can also be used by those who wish to cultivate sexual energy without ejaculatory release.