Pleasure Mechanics

Erotic Breast Touch

Question::

I’ve been with my partner for nearly 3 years now and I enjoy our sex life lots. We have a laugh and enjoy ourselves but sometimes he will start to play with my breasts and I’ll push him away and not like it, it’s not that I dislike him playing and I know he’s turned on when he does and it will turn me on too but I sometimes get a fright when he starts doing it randomly and it makes me a little uncomfortable and now he has stopped playing with them altogether recently and so I’m wondering what to do.  Please help x Nikki

Answer:: 

Hey Nikki,

Thanks for being in touch. Tell me more about what you mean by “sometimes get a fright when he starts doing it randomly”
Many women have complex feelings about breast touch – not only because it feels different according to time of the month and how aroused you are, but also because they have been touched so poorly so many times in our life. It often feels like our lovers are touching our breasts for _their_ pleasure rather than to pleasure us! So know that you are not alone.
Often, men go straight for the nipple, which can also be uncomfortable. And once there, they just pinch it!
These are all the reasons we made our video guide on Breast Massage – so lovers can learn a wide range of ways to touch the breasts, warm up before touching the nipple, and stimulate the nipples with more creativity. Perhaps you want to grab a copy and watch it together as a way of having a conversation about how you want your breasts to be touched in the future!
Cheers,
Chris

How To Touch Breasts

This handbook guides you in how to use your hands and mouth to stimulate your lover’s breasts as part of foreplay, oral sex, intercourse, or as part of a sensual massage.  Breast stimulation is almost always in addition to another erotic act – in all of our years as sex educator we have only met a handful of people who enjoyed breast play enough to make it the main course. However you want to include breast play in your erotic life, this guide will give you the techniques and skills to make it more pleasurable.

Many couples find that the breasts are not included in lovemaking as much as they would like. Often, this is simply because the touch that is being offered doesn’t feel all that good, or the variety of sensations is not enough to stay exciting for very long. Men report being at a loss, not knowing exactly what more there is to do beyond pinching the nipples or squeezing the breast.

This handbook covers a wide range of techniques for touching the female breasts. These techniques will create a wide range of sensations, allowing you and your lover to explore the breasts as an erogenous area and see just how much pleasure you can add to your lovemaking.

How To Touch Breasts for Maximum Pleasure is available exclusively on Amazon.com

Massage is Amazing Foreplay, But Not Always Foreplay

The goal is to bring massage into your relationship to be a positive physical expression of your love, affection, desire, commitment. We invite you to share massage as an expression of love.

Massage can be amazing foreplay. Massage relaxes the body, preparing it for more intense arousal. It builds up intimacy, allowing you to go deeper with one another during lovemaking. Massage also brings your attention to the entire body, allowing whatever erotic sensation you build to flow more freely, creating full body arousal and orgasms. You’ll also be developing your touch skills, communication, timing and many other skills that will simply make you a better lover.

But it is important to know that all massage will not lead into sex – it can be enjoyed for its own pleasures, without any expectation of it culminating in sex. Communicate about what your mood, hopes and expectations are before you start massage, to avoid any misunderstandings – if one of you is thinking foreplay, and the other is ready to receive a massage then drift off to sleep, there might be some hurt feelings after an otherwise pleasurable experience. Be clear if you want the massage to lead to sex, you definitely don’t want to have sex, or you are open but not sure yet and want to check in later during the massage and see how you feel then.

So enjoy massage on its own as often as you can. When you are both in the mood, use massage as extended foreplay and notice the benefits to your sex life. But don’t conflate the two – or you might find one partner avoiding massage because they don’t feel like having sex – missing an opportunity to exchange pleasurable touch and share an intimate moment. And, you can always check in after the massage and see how you feel – receiving massage may stir up erotic excitement that wasn’t there when you started!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8CYApqGodY

Female Sexual System

The female sexual system is not as mysterious as many people believe. Men and women have more in common than we have differences. The female sexual system is an elegant architecture of pleasure – all of the parts are essential for optimal sexual experience and performance.

Many women experience shame about the appearance of their genitals. Genitals come in all shapes, sizes and colors, as diverse as the human face. No matter what your parts look like, your body is capable of experiencing sexual pleasure, arousal and orgasms.

The word vulva refers to the external genitals. The word vagina refers just to the internal opening. Neither of these terms, nor any of the slang for female genitals, accurately reflects the entire sexual system.