Pleasure Mechanics

Troublesome Turn-Ons

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In this interview with sex therapist and podcast host Nicoletta Heidegger, we explore the terrain of troublesome turn-ons – when what we desire also causes us distress, worry or is perhaps illegal or even impossible to fulfill. Troublesome Turn-Ons are the desires that not only excite us, but cause anxiety, fear, shame, guilt or concern we will act out or cause harm.

In this episode we explore how to turn towards our troublesome turn-ons with more self-compassion, understanding of the human sexual spectrum, and tools to differentiate between fantasy and desire.

Troublesome Turn-Ons is a term coined by the late and great sexologist Dr. Jack Morin in his book The Erotic Mind. He shared the insight that most of what people self-experience as Troublesome Turn-Ons are actually quite common sexual fantasies within the range of normal human sexual expression, and reminds us to examine the assumptions and cultural norms behind the taboos to slay shame and gain more freedom – even as we may choose to enjoy the erotic charge of the taboo! Morin reminds us that we don’t need to give up the thrill of the profane and illicit, but we can shed the anxiety and self-judgment that may burden us and get in the way of pleasure and connection.

Explore more with Nicoletta at NicolettavHeidegger.com and tune into the SlutsAndScholars.com podcast, starting with the Pleasure Mechanics interview about Sexological Bodywork

Big thanks to Uberlube for sponsoring this episode and providing the world with the best silicone lube available. Explore Uberlube.com and use the code PLEASURE for 10% off and Free Shipping

Speaking Of Sex Podcast Episodes To Continue The Conversation

Resources To Help Find Additional Support

Igniting Erotic Touch

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Ignite your erotic touch skills, activate your hands during sex and uplevel every aspect of your sex life! Every erotic experience can be made more pleasurable by the simple act of bringing in more touch – using your hands to touch every inch of your lover’s body, especially during high arousal acts like oral sex or intercourse. How do you use your hands during sex? Ready to ignite your erotic touch skills? Tune into this free podcast episode to discover how.

We’ve taught tens of thousands of lovers how to touch with more skill & confidence. Are you next?

Ready to master the art of erotic touch and lavish your lover with pleasure?

Click here to enroll in Erotic Touch Mastery, our two bestselling courses in one bundle!

Speaking Of Sex Podcast Series on Touch

Thanks to our episode sponsors for being part of our global team of Pleasure Partners:

Erogenous Zone Activation

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Erogenous Zone Activation podcast episode

If you want more sensation, arousal and pleasure, activate and sensitize your erogenous zones! In this free podcast episode we dive deep into where the erogenous zones are, how you can awaken and activate them and specific steps to develop sexual responsiveness in any area you choose.

The body is rich with nerve endings ready to transmit sensation – but experiencing pleasure lighting up your erogenous zones, creating full body arousal and building towards orgasm, takes practice and focused attention. In this free podcast episode we share strategies and techniques for activating your erogenous zones through pleasurable exploration, engagement and pleasure practice.

Want to explore the techniques for pleasurable touch on ALL of your lover’s erogenous zones? Enroll in our Erotic Touch Mastery online course and touch your lover with new skills and confidence. All of our courses are backed by a 30 day guarantee and lifetime access so you can explore, risk free.

Erogenous Zones To Explore, Head To Toe:

  • Hair and Scalp
  • Face, Ears and Lips
  • Neck
  • Shoulders
  • Clavicle
  • Chest and Nipples
  • Armpits
  • Arms and Elbows
  • Wrists and Hands, Palms and Fingertips
  • Back and Spine
  • Sacrum
  • Hips
  • Butt
  • Stomach
  • Pubic Mons
  • Legs and Inner Thighs
  • Back of Knees ~ Popliteals
  • Ankles and Feet
  • Anus
  • Perineum
  • Genitals – Shaft, Glans
  • Internal Pelvis
  • Mouth and Throat

Speaking Of Sex Podcast Episodes To Continue The Conversation

Thanks to our episode sponsors for being part of our global team of Pleasure Partners:

Playing Without Penetration : Fulfilling Sexuality Beyond Intercourse

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On this tender and compassionate episode, we talk about claiming an erotic life beyond intercourse, if penetration is not available for any number of reasons, for any length of time – how can we explore, connect and enjoy a fulfilling sex life without intercourse or penetrative sex?

We hear from listeners all the time with any number of life changes that take intercourse off the menu and force the question of “what now?” – from prostate conditions to cancers of all kinds, from lichen sclerosus to vulvadynia and vaginismus, from accident to injury to illness of all kinds – and that is just the medical shortlist! Penetration can also come off the table sometimes during stages of trauma integration or as part of gender affirmative boundaries. Penetrative play sometimes is a no-go for all kinds of reasons – so what are the conversations, strategies and allies in discovering an erotic life beyond intercourse?

More Speaking Of Sex Episodes To Continue The Conversation:

Pleasure Tools and Toys For Playing Without Penetration

Toy links are affiliate links via our trusted friends at SheVibe.com ~ Buy with confidence from our trusted Pleasure Partners!

  • Air pulsator toys can be a game changer if vibrators are too intense or overstimulate the skin
  • Stroker toys can be great for solo or partnered play as a place to playfully penetrate!
  • The OhNut provides a pleasurable bumper for when less depth is desirable
  • Check out the Exo wearable stimulator as just one option amongst so many!

Explore a wide range of full body sensations and mental turn on to discover what feels good to you, right now

Resources To Explore & Share With Your Medical Care Team

Click here for more resources about sexuality, chronic illness and chronic pain.

Since2006

We are celebrating 18 years in Pleasure Mechanics uniform! Our story began when we met in the classroom of the Sexological Bodywork training program. Many months later, we went on our first date, climbed to the top of a mountain and fell in love. Three months later, Pleasure Mechanics was born out of our mutual desire to be of erotic service to this world.

You can listen to our origin story on episode 100 of our podcast, Speaking of Sex – or by tuning into the interviews of us here.

Thanks for being part of our global community of pleasure seekers!

Get started with our Free Online Course or dive a little deeper with our Erotic Mastery Courses