In our exploration of sensual and sexual pleasure in our lives, it is useful to know a little bit about how pleasure works in our body. Our anatomy is an intricate, awe-inspiring feat of chemistry and physics, and serves as a useful roadmap to the experiences we crave.
The female sexual system is not as mysterious as many people believe. Men and women have more in common than we have differences. The female sexual system is an elegant architecture of pleasure – all of the parts are essential for optimal sexual experience and performance.
Many women experience shame about the appearance of their genitals. Genitals come in all shapes, sizes and colors, as diverse as the human face. No matter what your parts look like, your body is capable of experiencing sexual pleasure, arousal and orgasms.
The word vulva refers to the external genitals. The word vagina refers just to the internal opening. Neither of these terms, nor any of the slang for female genitals, accurately reflects the entire sexual system.
The clitoris is a central part of the female sexual system. It is part of the vulva, and the most sensitive part of the female body. It is found at the top of the vulva, in between the labia.
The size and shape of the clitoris ranges widely from person to person, and the appearance often changes over the course of arousal and orgasm.
The clitoris contains erectile tissue that allows it to swell and extend during arousal. Some women will notice dramatic changes, others will have more subtle clitoral erections.
Many people consider the clitoris to be a small external structure, but what is visible is just the tip of the iceberg. The clitoral roots extend back into the body and down through the labia, connecting sensations throughout the region. One of the reasons internal stimulation feels good is because you are stimulating the internal roots of the clitoris!
The clitoris, just like the penis, has both a shaft and a head. You can stimulate the shaft of the clitoris as a warm up to more direct touch of the clitoral head.
Stimulate The Clitoris For Female Orgasm
Clitoral stimulation is essential for female orgasm. Most women do not experience orgasm from penetration alone – they need clitoral stimulation to build up arousal and experience climax. Many women prefer the clitoris to be stimulated from the side or through the clitoral hood. Warm her up slowly to avoid overstimulating the highly sensitive clitoris. Master the skills of giving women pleasure with our Foreplay Mastery Course, which includes a stroke-by-stroke guide to touching women with skills and confidence.
The head of the clitoris has about 10,000 nerve endings – more than any other part of either the male or female body. It is considered the only part of human anatomy designed exclusively for pleasure. The clitoris is the anatomical homologue (match) to the penis. Remember this when considering the importance of the clitoris to female sexual pleasure!
The labia are part of the vulva (the external female genitals) and are anatomical homologues of the male scrotal skin. The labia cover and protect the sensitive clitoris, but are also part of the overall sexual system.
There are two sets of labia, inner and outer. Also referred to labia majora and labia menora. The labia come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Sometimes the inner lips are much larger than the outer lips, or vice versa. It is a myth that the outer labia are always larger than the inner labia.
There is a very wide range of normal labia, from tiny to big labia, short to long labia, pink to brown labia. The labia we see in most pornography does not reflect the diversity of labia that are perfectly normal, healthy and beautiful.
Many women grow up believing their genitals are deformed in some way, when all within the beautiful range of normal, healthy genitals. Genitals are just as diverse as the human face – we all have similar parts that can look radically different.
Honoring and celebrating all genitals is an essential part of creating a sexually healthy culture.
The vagina is one part of the female sexual system – the muscular opening in the female pelvis, from the external genitals (the vulva) to the cervix, the opening to the internal female reproductive system. The vagina is an important part of the female sexual system, allowing pleasurable forms of penetration with fingers, toys, penises and other body parts. Internal stimulation is a pleasurable part of many women’s sexual experience. Many women, however, do not experience orgasm through penetration alone. For maximum pleasure, pair vaginal penetration with clitoral stimulation or anal play.
The entrance to the vagina, called the entroitus, is a good place to linger. Don’t rush past this sensitive opening to get inside.
The vagina itself isn’t very sensitive, but of course internal stimulation can be highly pleasurable. You can reach the roots of the clitoris that extend back into the body. On the top wall of the vagina, towards the clitoris, you can find the female prostate, sometimes called the g-spot or skene’s gland. Stimulating this area can lead to female ejaculation.
The deepest part of the vagina is the cervix. Sometimes deep penetration can stimulate the cervix in a pleasurable way, other times it can be uncomfortable to touch this area.
And remember: the vagina is the inside sheath, the vulva is the external genitals.