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Erotic Gift Giving

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Erotic gifts can add a beautiful intimate touch to the holidays. With so much family togetherness and busy schedules, think about setting aside a little bit of time to be alone together, savor some relaxing touch and exchange gifts intended to enhance your erotic life together.

Below you’ll find some of our favorite toys for inspiration. Wrap one up with a beautiful bow, make sure to mark it Do Not Open In Front Of The Family! and express your love and commitment to another year of shared pleasure.

Sometimes the best gift is an investment in getting support. If you are struggling with an erotic roadblock, the comprehensive courses from therapist Vanessa Marin are our go-to referral for effective tools for transformation. Check out Finishing School to learn how to orgasm alone or with a partner. Our guys have loved her Modern Man’s Guide to overcoming performance anxiety and we regularly send couples to The Passion Project for tools to balance mismatched libidos.

While Vanessa Marin offers deep dives for the most common struggles, if you are already in a pretty good relational space and ready to just play more and get creative together, you can get your inbox absolutely stuffed with enticing options with her 30 Day Sex Challenge!


One of our favorite new toys of the year is Lelo’s Sona – for anyone who likes clitoral stimulation, this toy uses sonic pulses rather than vibration to stimulate deep into the body. Give her the gift of a whole new kind of stimulation!


Another new favorite is the Crescendo from MysteryVibe

This fun, flexible vibrator is defiantly NOT one size fits all – you can bend and shape it to contour just right to the pleasure zones you want to stimulate. Plus, it integrates technology in a meaningful way, allowing you to control the vibrating zones and rhythms with an app that is easy to use. It comes in a gorgeous box, ready to wrap and present to your partner (after the kids have gone to sleep!)


Want a discreet yet powerful toy to integrate into partnered play? Check out the Eva vibrator from Dame Products. This tiny powerhouse tucks right into the labia to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse – Adding a nice additional level of stimulation without a lot of bulk coming between you. Use the code MECHANICS for $15 off!


Want to add some luxury to your erotic life? Check out the affordable yet luxe line of body jewelry from Bijoux Indiscrets, a Barcelona based company that offers simple yet gorgeous ways to adorn the body. They also have a beautiful line of vegan harnesses, cuffs and body adornments.

Use the code MECHANICS20 for 20% off anything you wish!


Does your lover enjoy lots of quality touch?

Wrap up a nice massage candle and enroll in our Couples Massage Mastery online course, and give the gift of a lifetime of beautiful full body touch! If you want to give the gift of any of our Erotic Mastery Courses, use the code GIFT for 33% off! 


If your lover enjoys receiving love notes, hearing you speak loving words during sex, or is an avid reader, give the gift of an erotica anthology on audiobook. Click here to get a free book of your choice with a trial membership: Audible.com


No matter what kind of erotic play you love, everyone needs a good personal lubricant to make your touch slip, slide and glide in all the right ways. Check out our favorite organic lubricant from GoodCleanLove.com and use the code Pleasure for 33% off your entire order!


Have another toy in mind?

Start here with these links to some of our favorite sex toy companies:

Goodvibes.com : for a full selection of toys from trusted brands

Lelo.com : for luxury, high quality toys and light bondage gear

Intimacy In Times of Fear

Intimacy In Times of Fear :: Free Podcast Episode

The 2016 election left most of us – of all political persuasions – feeling scared, isolated and uncertain. We step aside from our usual sex advice podcast to offer thoughts and strategies on how to find intimacy during these hard times.

My Sexual Breakthrough Moment

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In this episode, we share the sexual breakthrough moment of one podcast listener. Then we explore how you can create your own breakthrough moments to level up your sex life.

Click here for more prostate masturbation strategies and links to prostate masturbation toys like the Aneros.

Here is the full letter that inspired this episode:

Dear Pleasure Mechanics:

First, Chris, I was very sorry to hear about your recent health scare.  It sounded truly terrifying but I’m glad to hear that you’re doing better and your health is back under control.

I’m writing to you two because over the past few years I’ve been interested in learning more about prostate stimulation, but my exploration has pretty fruitless-until recently, and there isn’t anybody else I can talk to about this subject.

Like I said, I’ve read a fair amount about the subject, listened to your podcasts on prostate stimulation, and even bought an Aneros.  I tried following the instructions, but every time I inserted it (usually in bed, on my side with one leg pulled towards my stomach), and tried to relax, nothing happened.  I settled into a pattern; every few months, I would make an attempt or two, nothing would happen, and I’d give up for a while.  I bought a newer Aneros model, one with a more comfortable coating, but still no breakthroughs.

Very recently, I thought it might be better to try a finger.  I bought some latex gloves, lubed up my index finger, and tried to gently insert it.  This time I tried standing up instead of being in bed.  I more or less struck out the first two times, but a couple of days ago, by really concentrating on syncing my breathing and “bearing down,” I was able to pull the finger in.  By flexing it forward, I was able to just touch my prostate, but only barely, and the position wasn’t that comfortable.  I was going to give up again, but for whatever reason I told myself “no, you made progress today, and we’re going to keep trying!”

 I got my Aneros, lubed it up, and began to insert it, using the same technique as my finger.  I suspect the insertion of my finger warmed the area up, and over the course of a minute, I was able to slide it in.  Instead of just trying to breathe, I put on a video of an erotic massage and began to masturbate.  After about a minute, I could feel the Aneros slide further within me, until it must have made contact with my prostate.  When it did, I looked down at my cock and it felt…different, the hardness seemed to extend into my body (I know you two have pointed out how much of the penis is internal but I never felt that sensation before).  My cock, already hard, began to get much harder than I could ever remember and its head was much more swollen than usual.  Things began to blur but even though I usually masturbate “dry,” I grabbed some lube, covered my cock, and really began to pump, focusing much more on my cockhead than I usually do.  I honestly can’t recall being that turned on before. I tried to bear down about every five seconds and I could feel the Aneros milking the prostate.  And then after a minute-I got some “milk,” as fluid began to seep out of my cock. At first I thought I was coming but after the first shot of fluid my cock somehow managed to get harder, not softer.  It became difficult not to vocalize and I began to groan, and over the next ten to fifteen minutes, I managed to have at least ten more eruptions of fluid, my cock staying in that ultra-hard state.  I really didn’t know what to think, each release of fluid felt wonderful, but in a very different way than a “standard” orgasm.  The sensation was much more sustained and rather than draining it seemed to energize me.

Even though it seemed like I must have completely emptied my prostate, I decided to try again the next night.  Insertion was a little more difficult (I should have warmed up more) but again I was able to get the Aneros pretty far in, and I lubed up and began stroking my cock quicker than the previous time.  I couldn’t believe it-not only was I able to get just as hard as before, but the sensations, both from my cock and my prostate, were even more intense.  Every time fluid seeped out, it just added fuel to the fire.  I really just put caution to the wind-stroking, squeezing and grunting,-it was primal in the best sense of the world.  When I was finished I was completely drenched; I had managed to break through and have two terrific experiences in as many days.

I’m sorry for the length of this message, but like I wrote earlier, I’ve been trying to get to this point for years, and I don’t have anybody in my circle who I feel comfortable talking about this subject.  Please know that your podcasts and advocacy for prostate massage, as well as for more attention to male sexuality in general kept me interested in the subject.  In your podcast on hand jobs both of you talked about the importance of men being able to revel in their arousal for their own sake, separate from penetration.  I usually just stroke long enough to get hard, often in the dark, and then finish myself off in other ways, so it really felt empowering to stand up, feel the fullness in my butt and the stimulation of my prostate, and to see my cock, already erect, get much harder and then to see fluid shoot out, multiple times.  Even after the pleasure subsided there was a real sense of accomplishment, totally removed from any shame or disgust.  So I’m glad I didn’t give up, and in a few days time I’m going to try and put what I’ve learned to good use and hopefully have an even better experience.

I have just a couple of quick questions, again thanks for indulging me for this long.

1) when I was masturbating my balls also got very aroused and pulled close to my body, but I really wasn’t able to do much in the way of stimulating them. I don’t think you’ve done a podcast on touching the balls but if you have any tips that would be great.

Click here for tips on how to touch balls!

2) In my case it seems like I really needed penile stimulation combined with the Aneros to get thing going; before when I just would just insert it and try to breathe nothing much happened.  I know everyone’s body is different, so there’s no reason to think that prostate stimulation combined with working the cock is a lesser experience, is there?

Midlife Sexual Renaissance with Pamela Madsen

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This episode has been retired. 

Pamela Madsen is the author of “Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked and Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home In Time To Cook Dinner” She writes for Huffington Post and offers coaching sessions online and leads Back to the Body retreats for women all around the world.

In this episode, we covered:

  • One woman’s path to erotic reawakening
  • Baby steps towards midlife sexual revolutions
  • Why menopause can be an erotic gift
  • The biological rhythms of female sexuality
  • A peek behind the scenes at an international sex retreat

Find Pamela online at BackToTheBody.org

Hello!

Thanks for being part of our community. We’d love to hear what is on your mind – use this page to contribute to the Speaking of Sex Podcast! 

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  • Respond to any of the themes covered in the show – we’d love to hear what is on your mind.

Or, use any of these questions to inspire you!

  • What is one idea from Pleasure Mechanics that has had a big impact on how you live and love?
  • Have you had an erotic breakthrough moment with us? Tell us about it!
  • What have you experienced while exploring our erotic touch techniques? What is your favorite kind of massage or stroke?
  • If you could share one idea from our work with the world to generate more pleasure, joy and connection, what would it be?

All messages may be used on a Speaking of Sex podcast and/or premium course content. By leaving a message, you grant Pleasure Mechanics, LLC permission to use your message and voice recording. If you wish to be cited, simply leave your name and contact information in your call – otherwise all calls will be considered anonymous submissions.

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