masturbation

Just The Tip: Masturbation Is Natural

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Masturbation Is Natural Podcast Episode

Many animals masturbate frequently. In The Compass of Pleasure, David J. Linden reveals how much creativity some animals bring to solo sex. Get The Compass of Pleasure on audiobook absolutely free with your Audible.com trial!

Chimps make dildos out of tree bark and branches
Female porcupines walk over branches to stimulate their genitals
Dolphins have been seen wrapping eels around their penis.

I’m not suggesting interspecies sexual encounters, and I’m not sure why the author counts the dolphin eel encounter as masturbation and not sex, but you get the idea.

You have to applaud the creativity of the orangutans and the porcupine. making their own tools for pleasure. That puts sex toys in a whole new light in a way, maybe it really is natural to use our creativity to fashion tools to enhance our own pleasure. I love to collect these stories of animals and how they have sex or masturbate because we have so many sexual hangups about masturbation that i find it refreshing and permission giving to hear about how many species like to get their rocks off. It feels freeing to me.

So my challenge to you is next time you touch yourself know that you are part of the glorious animal kingdom and are just doing your part to feel good, which it turns out is completely, totally natural.

What happens if you relaxed into the naturalness of the act, gave yourself a little more permission and space to feel good about it, instead of something that you sort of need to rush through, and functionally get through to get to the part where you blow before someone discovers you.

There are so many layers of shame that we all have in this culture where we are told so often that to touch yourself is bad wrong dirty or just kind of lame, what happens if we could shake off another couple layers of that shame and guilt? What if we understood those emotions as an intentional result of fabricated cultural stories that are put onto us to control our behavior and create social order? What if we admitted that underneath all that we are all just animals who like to experience pleasure in our bodies, and that is ok?

Next time you touch yourself why don’t you play with taking some extra time with it, really linger, breath deep and choose to really enjoy your animal body. Know that you are part of a larger experience of animals and humans, all around the globe, throughout time who like enjoying pleasure in your body and remember how darn normal and natural it is!

Get The Compass of Pleasure on audiobook absolutely free with your Audible.com trial!

Masturbation: A Pleasure Lab

How do you touch yourself?

Do you treat yourself the way you treat your lover? Do you bring the same kind of enthusiasm and exploration to your self-touch as you do to touching your partner? Most of us do not.

Masturbation is often used as a utilitarian act, a release valve for excess sexual pressure. Many people masturbate in the same way every time, repeating the same strokes and playing out the same fantasies that bring them to climax quickly and reliably. This can be useful – again, knowing how to get off is not a bad thing – but masturbation can also serve as a powerful laboratory to try new things and learn more about your body, arousal patterns and erotic potential.

As you learn what kinds of touch your body responds to, or what fantasies really turn you on, you can bring this knowledge to your partnered sex life and have more variety to play with, more self-knowledge to guide your partner.

Most of us love a confident, self-aware lover who can give us guidance towards pleasuring and satisfying them. So why not also cultivate this self-awareness in ourselves, so we can be the kind of lover we want to have?

Essential Speaking of Sex Podcast Episodes On Masturbation

Even More Speaking Of Sex Episodes About Masturbation, Solo Sex & Self Loving!

Here are a few questions to help you explore your relationship to masturbation, and to reflect on what you might want to explore!

Why do you masturbate?
What did you learn about masturbation growing up?
Did you have to hide it? Where you ashamed about it?
Now as an adult, do you often rush through masturbation?
How do you feel before, during and after?
How many different ways do you masturbate?
How often do you try something new?
Do you make noise when you masturbate?
How frequently do you usually masturbate? How does it feel when you masturbate more frequently? less frequently? not at all for awhile?
When did you buy your first sex toy or pleasure tool? When was the last time?
How much pleasure can you allow yourself to feel in your body?
What are you seeking? Is there a feeling you are going for? Do you reach it?
What do you think about?
How do you (if at all) prepare your body for masturbation?
How do you (if at all) prepare your space?
Do you feel more or less energized after masturbating?

Discovering New Sensations

Masturbation can be a realm of pure exploration. You can try new things and see how you respond. This can include trying new strokes on your genitals, adding in more full body touch, moving your body in new ways, or making a range of sounds. This is all about forging new pleasure pathways.

You can also experiment with accessorizing your sex life – there is a wide range of vibrators, insertables, anal toys, balls and barbells for you to enjoy. Some people love sex toys – other people find them a distraction. Here’s our guide on sex toys to help you find the best toys out there.

We receive email every day asking us if masturbation is healthy. This question stems from hundreds of years of anti-masturbation crusading.

Masturbation can be great for your health, your relationship to yourself and everyone else in your life. It can be a primary pleasure practice where you release tension, flood your body with pleasure and experience joyful orgasms and climaxes. Your solo sex life can be a rich erotic terrain full of fantasy, exploration and peak pleasures.

But for many of us, we still masturbate with some level of secrecy, shame or hurry. Here is a provocative podcast episode that explores how the legacy of sexual repression and violence may be impacting how you masturbate!

The real question is this: how is YOUR relationship to masturbation?

Frequency of Masturbation:
There is no one right number of times per day, week or year to masturbate. Some people masturbate a few times a day, some a few times a week, others a few times a month or year.

Only you can know what is best for you. Becoming aware of your patterns and more deliberate in your choices around masturbation will make it more satisfying and a more energizing part of your life.

If you feel stuck in a masturbation rut, or feel like you masturbate compulsively – that is, without choice and/or against your better judgement – it may be time to change up your patterns and bring more awareness to your self-touch.

Quality of Masturbation:
Many people masturbate and still have a feeling of sexual longing – there is a feeling or experience we have powerful desire for but are not achieving.

If this is the case, check in with that longing and see if there are elements of that fantasy or desire you can bring into your sex life, solo or partnered. See if you can create the feeling state you are looking for.

What questions do you have about masturbation? Do you want more resources and suggestions for how to masturbate with more variety? Use the comments of this thread to share your thoughts!

When Is Masturbation Cheating?

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When Is Masturbation Cheating? If you aren’t in the mood for sex with your partner, but still masturbate frequently, does it count as cheating? What does it mean when masturbation is more desirable than sex?

We explore these questions and also give advice on how to stay connected to your lover when going through a stressful time or a dry spell.

Female Masturbation Techniques

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Masturbation is a healthy, pleasurable part of your sex life. Whether or not you are in a relationship, making time to masturbate allows you to experience way more pleasure and unleash more powerful orgasms! Here are some thoughts on essential female masturbation techniques to get you exploring with confidence.

Masturbation is how you get to know your own body. In this episode, we first explore how to get in touch with your desires, get more aroused and learn how to have orgasms. Then, you can bring all of this knowledge to your partnered sex so you can enjoy more pleasure with your lover.

Learning new female masturbation techniques can help you discover whole new parts of your sexuality and become more in touch with how you like to be touched.

Female Masturbation Techniques: Use Your Hands

Female Masturbation Techniques Use your hands to explore your entire sexual system. Don’t rush right to your clitoris. Explore what it feels like to touch your labia, your mons and the perineum. Try lots of different kinds of stimulation to wake up new kinds of sensation. You can also zero in on the clitoris to get to orgasm – but try to experience more kinds of stimulation as you build arousal.

Many of these techniques are demonstrated in our Foreplay Mastery Course, and can be used either with a partner or as female masturbation techniques.

Essential Female Masturbation Techniques : Explore Your Sexual System

First, rest your hand on the mons and just take a few relaxed breaths.

Find the outer labia. Touch the entire outside labia, gliding one or two fingers along the length. Then, gather the flesh of the outer labia (might be quite a lot, or a small ripple of tissue) and gently pinch and roll the labia between your fingers.

Feel the texture of the lips and notice what, if any sensation, you are creating. Some people have quite a lot of erotic sensation in their outer labia – other women have very little.

Try this stroke with the inner labia as well if there is enough flesh to play with. The shape and size of the labia is different for every woman – but all have the potential of being a pleasurable part of the female sexual anatomy. Explore the area and notice what sensations you can create by stimulating the labia. Stimulating the labia is important, as it brings blood flow to the genitals and begins waking up the area without direct clitoral stimulation.

The perineum is a highly sensitive part of the female anatomy that often goes overlooked. The perineum is a nexus of nerves and an intersection of musculature. Use your thumb in small circles on the perineum. Pulse in and out, using quite deep pressure. Move one finger in small circles around the perineum.

Rest your fingers just outside the entrance to the vagina. Pause. Explore this area of the opening – there are a lot of nerve endings here and circling around the outside can be highly stimulating. Use a fingerpad and trace circles around the entrance, and trace small circles for a few moments just inside the entrance along the bottom wall, then vibrate your finger a little.

If you can reach, use your own fingers to explore your g-spot and try a range of stimulation techniques to see how much sensation you can feel inside. Try circles, long strokes, pulses and vibrations around the g-spot and see what feels best. Combine g-spot stimulation with clitoral stimulation for maximum pleasure.

Female Masturbation Techniques: Use Toys

We believe that hands are the best sexual tool ever invented! But there are lots of female masturbation techniques that can only be explored with toys. Check out our page on sex toys to get linked up to some of our favorite toys.

Smartballs are one of our favorite kinds of sex toys. These weighted balls arouse a lot of vaginal sensation, strengthen your pelvic muscles and can be a great compliment to clitoral stimulation.

You can also explore with the wide range of sex toys that are available. Like anal stimulation? Try incorporating butt plugs into your masturbation. Love your nipples played with? Put nipple clamps on and tug at them as you touch your clitoris. Your body is your own playground – explore it fully!

The more female masturbation techniques you experiment with, the more knowledge you will gain about your sexuality. Then you’ll be able to communicate with your lover and ask for exactly what you want in bed.

Q&A: Is Frequent Masturbation Harmful?

Q: i am masturbating right from my adolescence and that too 2-3 times a day.
i want to know that what are the harmful effects of frequent masturbating.

Thanks for being in touch.

We are not doctors so can not provide medical advice. If you are having any pain or medical issues please see a doctor.

What we CAN tell you is that there are NO harmful side effects to frequent masturbation, and the rate you describe is completely normal for a man your age. If it feels good and is energizing you, don’t worry and enjoy! Pleasure is good for you!

If you are getting bored or numbing out you might want to check out new techniques to gain more mastery over your arousal. Start here: http://www.pleasuremechanics.com/tag/edging/

Thanks for being in touch!

Christine