Oral Sex is an immensely pleasurable and intimate act. “Oral sex” usually describes the act of bringing your lover to climax using your mouth, lips and tongue. Many people love receiving oral sex – the warm, wet sensations of oral pleasure is an experience that is incomparable, and can’t be recreated with any sex toy.
Ready to master Oral Artistry? Join our online course for an immersive exploration of oral pleasure for ALL bodies.
For many guys, blowjobs are one of the best kinds of sex. Oral sex is an amazing opportunity to simply relax and receive, allowing all of your attention to focus on the sensations and arousal you are feeling. Many guys spend a lot of time in sex being really active – blowjobs are a great opportunity for men to enjoy simply receiving.
We get a lot of questions about how to give a better blowjob. The easy answer? Enthusiasm. Let your guy know that you are enjoying going down on him, that is something you can enjoy doing, not just a favor or a chore.
It is also essential to learn how to use your hands in combination with your mouth to stimulate the entire penis. Even if you can deep throat for a little while, there is no way to get the amount of pressure and stimulation that most men want with your mouth alone. So master your handjob skills, and then coordinate your hands and mouth – your hands stimulating the shaft of his penis while your mouth focuses on the sensitive head.
We are currently running sex surveys for both givers and receivers of oral sex for men. Here are some tips and suggestions gathered so far. Take the surveys and contribute your own sex wisdom about how to give great blowjobs!
Some women love giving blowjobs, others hate it. The whole range of feelings about giving oral sex were reflected in our survey responses:
“The feelings in my mouth and pussy are symbiotic – one enhances the other. Sometimes I can come just from sucking cock (with a few nipple tweaks to help!)”
“Honestly, I ONLY enjoy giving oral sex to get his cock wet enough for penetration. Otherwise I don’t enjoy it but I will still sometimes do it if we are mutually masturbating and he wants me to finish him off with my mouth.”
“Wash. Trim. Be engaged-let us know if what we’re doing is working for you. Let us know if it isn’t. But DON’T just sit there and wait through something that’s just kind of meh. Know where the “I love playing with your cock”-“oh my gosh my jaw and arms are tired, stop thinking about your grandparents” line is. And don’t cross it. We like pleasing you. Don’t drag it out forever though!”
“Caress and touch me sensually, the more aroused I become the more aggressive and passionate I become towards his penis.”
“I love it if he gently holds my hair back, but if his hands get hard and he holds my head like he’s fucking a cantaloupe, forget it!”
Queening is the art of facesitting, usually but not exclusively with a female on top, immersing the lucky human beneath her in the full glory of her genitals.
Some queening fans use stools or boxes especially designed for the purpose, either for comfort or for the added effect of a “throne” or the restraint of a “smothering box.”
The position of Queening allows the woman on top to control the amount of contact between her genitals and her lover’s tongue and mouth. This can be used strategically to tease, to smother, to immerse, to taunt, to tantalize.
Queening is best approached with an attitude of worship towards the woman on top. Many people who like to be “on the bottom” in this scenario simply love the full facial contact with the pussy, love feeling smothered with the weight of their lover, enjoy being out of control and submitted to the act of bringing pleasure to their lover.
It can take confidence to assume the queening position. If your partner is eager to try it out, try to trust their enthusiasm and see if you can find the pleasure in their arousal. Some women find it hard to climax while in the queening position. If this is the case, try out this position for short periods of time and then switch to a position that you can relax into as you approach orgasm.
For more on how to enjoy amazing oral sex, check out The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Cunnilingus, included in the Foreplay Mastery Course.
This complete guide covers queening and other positions for amazing oral sex, as well as extensive techniques for giving amazing oral stimulation, communication techniques and strategies to overcome roadblocks that prevent you from enjoying the pleasures of oral sex.
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In this episode of Speaking of Sex, we’re talking about mastering the skills of cunnilingus.
A listener asks how he can learn to give his girlfriend the best oral sex she has ever experienced.
We share proven strategies for maximum pleasure during cunnilingus.
From specific tongue strokes to communication techniques, we share our expert advice on mastering the skill of going down on a woman.
Comment::
Hi. I really liked your article on yourtango.com about how to give a blowjob. Especially your answer to the comment about the blowjob swallow debate. I loved your idea of thinking of swallowing as honoring and respectful and oral sex as a gift. That’s a great way to put it!
I find it strange and annoying when sex experts or authors of books or articles on blowjobs spend more time explaining ways to avoid letting guys cum in your mouth when you’re sucking their penis or ways to avoid swallowing. I’ve never understood why that would be more enjoyable for the guy, or even for the girl giving the blowjob.
Your comment reminded me of a friend I had in school, she got into oral sex before I did and helped me out with tips when I was starting out. She felt that a guy’s cum was her reward for the blowjob. I always thought that was a cute way of looking at it, and when you actually think that way while you’re going down on someone it really makes you look forward to the guy getting off in your mouth. And when you think about it, it kind of makes sense. Isn’t it a privilege to be able to make men release their semen into your mouth just with a little attention from your lips and tongue? And like you said by swallowing it’s like your honoring that event. To me at least it’s deeply satisfying and exciting to feel a man’s orgasm and his ejaculation through my lips and tongue.
I think this topic would make for a helpful article on your site, btw. Thanks for your positive attitude about it. Your article put me in a mood to give a blow job, or two! 😉
Megan
A:: Thanks for writing in, Megan, about your feelings in the great blowjob swallow debate! Some women may never want to swallow, and that is their choice. What is essential is that we honor our bodily fluids as part of the gift of our incredible human sexuality – when we talk about the “blowjob swallow” as something nasty and disgusting, we disrespect the male body. We think it is time to reframe the conversation and allow ejaculates to be honored – and that can include a “blowjob swallow” or not! Whether or not you want to swallow, we recommend mastering handjob skills! Being able to give a great handjob makes oral sex way more pleasurable, and if you aren’t in the mood to swallow you can finish him off with your hands and choose where the ejaculate lands!