orgasm — Page 2 — Pleasure Mechanics

Oral Sex Orgasms Advanced Techniques

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For many women, receiving oral sex is challenging. Some women have anxiety about how their vulva looks, smells or tastes. Other women worry about appearing selfish if they take too much time to reach orgasm. Some women simply don’t trust that their partner could actually enjoy going down on them. Even for women who are comfortable with their bodies, have no anxiety about their vulva and trust their partner’s enthusiasm, the sheer pleasure of oral sex can be overwhelming. And for other women, the intensity of stimulation from oral sex never gets quite strong enough to push them over the edge into orgasm.

The good news? There are a lot of strategies that can help you reach orgasm during oral sex. From communication strategies to orgasmic mindfulness, there are lots of great tools to help you enjoy more orgasmic oral sex.

This podcast is for anyone who has trouble reaching orgasm during oral sex. We cover:

How to relax and receive as much pleasure as possible
How to guide your partner without getting too technical during sex
Mental and physical techniques to overcome pleasure anxiety
Erotic jedi mind tricks to get out of your head and into your body
Simple power play techniques to eroticize your struggle
The one tool we all need to learn to feel more pleasure

Here is the email that inspired this podcast episode:

I have a partner who is good at giving oral sex. He’s devoted, perceptive, I know he really enjoys it, and I have noticed how he’s refined his skills and sense of what I need over the 8 months we’ve been dating – he has asked me frequently how he could be better at going down, and I’ve shared some ideas with him which he’s incorporated. I want to orgasm, he wants me to orgasm, everything feels so good I think I could orgasm, except as I approach a climax, I just can’t, and the pleasure gives way to anxiety or frustration. There isn’t one thing I’m wanting and not saying, there isn’t something he’s doing wrong, I genuinely believe my vagina’s beautiful and feel comfortable having a person so intimately connecting with that part of my body …. it’s more an issue of being unable to give in to that non-thinking, pleasure-focussed state. No one has ever been able to get me over this hump (of orgasming from oral sex – I am able to climax during intercourse), and it’s beginning to feel like vulnerability/shame/privacy mental block. What steps can I take to start relaxing into orgasm from oral sex? How can I let myself just enjoy it more? Feel everything more fully and intensely?

One detail I keep considering is that talking and giving instructions does kind of take me “out of it” … I’m still open to trying more communication, but the most success I’ve had is more internal work – using imagery garnered from Betty Dodson’s wisdom to call to mind favorite foods, beautiful images, or other pleasure-things that aren’t specifically sex, to get my mind out of analyzing and into pleasure mode.

Thanks a million for all that you do,

B

How To Surrender Into Orgasm

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We hear from a lot of women who have trouble reaching orgasm, either alone or with a partner. Many of these women can build lots of arousal but never quite achieve orgasm. What’s the secret? Learning how to focus on pleasurable sensation while relaxing and then surrendering into orgasm. Easier said than done, so in this podcast episode (hit the play button above to listen for free!) we give strategic advice for learning how to surrender into orgasm.

This podcast features a passage from the book The Multi-Orgasmic Woman.

Co-written by Mantak Chia, the leading expert in the field of Taoist sexuality, and Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D., a family practice physician specializing in women’s health and sexuality, The Multi-Orgasmic Woman combines ancient Taoist practices with current sexual information. It offers a complex system of both physical practices and energy work to create more vitality in the female sexual system.

They propose a five step path to orgasm. The first four steps are focusing your intention, strengthening your pelvic muscles, kindling your sexual energy and exploring your pleasure anatomy. This week we focus on the fifth step, surrendering into orgasm.

Check out the complete book The Multi-Orgasmic Woman

Emily Nagoski on the Surprising Science of Sex

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Emily Nagoski on the Surprising Science of Sex Our culture tells us all sorts of things about female pleasure. We are told women are complicated, hard to figure out, overly emotional creatures with elusive libidos. None of these messages are very helpful when it comes to giving and experiencing more pleasure, right? Do you long for honest, accurate information that actually helps you experience a better love life? If so, you are in the right place! We are dedicated to providing the most effective techniques so you can experience the pleasure you crave.

In order to give you the most powerful information and strategies, we are constantly reading and learning about sexuality and love. When we come across an amazing resource, we love sharing it with you.

We are thrilled to share an interview with Emily Nagoski, author of the new book Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life. Emily reveals what the latest science has to say about female desire, libido and orgasms. This is a must-listen episode for anyone interested in women’s pleasure. Click the play button above to listen to the interview!

In the interview you’ll learn

why everything you know about the hymen is wrong
the key to getting in the mood more often
how taking control of your brain will lead to a better love life
why “desirable” and “pleasurable” are not always the same thing

Check out Emily’s book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life and Emily’s blog, The Dirty Normal.

Stop Faking Orgasms: Here’s How

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Stop Faking Orgasms: Here's How

Fake orgasm? How about the real thing instead?

Many women (and some men) fake orgasm to get sex over with and avoid hurting their lover’s feelings. But one fake orgasm just ends up leading to another.

If you avoid communicating about what you really need to have the real deal, you’ll end up with a lover who doesn’t know how to please you!

The solution is to start communicating (verbally and non-verbally) about what authentically turns you on so you can get more of what works for you. Over time, this will add up to a highly orgasmic sex life!

How Common Are Fake Orgasms?

Fake orgasms are more common than you might imagine. One study shows that 80% of women fake orgasms at least half the time! Many men fake orgasms too!

Many people fake orgasm to get mediocre sex over with. Others fake orgasm to avoid hurting their lover’s feelings. The problem is, when you fake an orgasm you are giving your lover false information about your sexual responses. Imagine if your lover cooked you the same meal every week because they thought you liked it. Eventually, you’d have to speak up and ask for something else.

The same is true in the bedroom. Unless you are willing to communicate about what authentically arouses you and brings you to orgasm, you’ll never be able to have a fulfilling sex life.

Remember, most women do not experience orgasm during intercourse. For more on why and how to truly pleasure a woman, check out our free podcast episodes on Female Orgasm During Intercourse

In this podcast episode we explore how to start getting real with your lover so you can stop faking and start making love that is truly satisfying.

We also discuss whether or not you should disclose to your lover if you’ve been faking orgasms all along.

Should I Confess That I Have Been Faking Orgasms?

Here’s the letter that inspired this episode:

“Hey guys, I have a situation I’m hoping you can help me with. I am 28, and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He just proposed and I said yes. The problem is, I’ve been faking orgasm for our entire relationship.

If I’m going to marry the guy I want to be honest with him and work on having better sex. How do I tell him I’ve been faking without crushing his ego? Sex feels good but not great.

I can easily have orgasms when I am alone, but with him I usually don’t get all the way there. I’ve had a few orgasms with him, mostly during oral sex. But the rest of the time, I fake to get it over with. Should I tell him?” ~ Meghan

How To Explore Erotic Tease & Denial

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Erotic Tease & Denial

Want a new game to heat up your sex life? Try erotic tease & denial! This erotic game is all about creating lots of anticipation and desire through erotic denial. You can explore Tease & Denial for an hour or two or make it part of your erotic lifestyle!

In this episode we explore how to get started with erotic tease & denial, why it is such a hot game for so many people and how to make sure you stay healthy while playing this erotic game.