Pleasure Mechanics

Surviving Sexless Seasons

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All relationships have sexless seasons – periods of time where there is little or no sexual connection –  here’s how to survive them so a sexless season doesn’t turn into a sexless marriage or breakup!

Sexless seasons happen for any number of reasons – injury, illness, work stress, family commitments, global events – and these reasons often have nothing to do with how much you love your partner or how attracted you are.

Sexless seasons can hijack an otherwise healthy relationship and create a downward spiral of disconnection – or they can serve to deepen your communication and trust so you are ready to reconnect when the time is right.

In this episode, we explore the steps and strategies involved in making it through a sexless season without anger or resentment.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Couples Massage Mastery

Explicit Monogamy Agreements Podcast Episode

To explore more curated Pleasure Mechanics resources to quickly build your capacity for pleasure and erotic connection join the Pleasure Pod.

Tell Me What You Want: Exploring Sexual Fantasy with Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D.

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What do your sexual fantasies reveal about who you are and what you want? Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D. joins us to discuss his new book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life

In this conversation about the role and meaning of sexual fantasies, we cover:

  • the 7 themes of the most common sexual fantasies
  • what sexual fantasies mean about our personalities
  • the psychological function of sexual fantasy
  • how to work with shame and judgment about your own sexual fantasies
  • how to talk to your partner about your fantasies

For bonus resources, interactive worksheets about exploring your fantasies and a bonus episode about the difference between fantasy and desire, join The Pleasure Pod and unlock members-only resources

Check out Justin Lehmiller’s insightful blog Sex and Pyschology

 

 

Getting Kinky In A Long Term Relationship

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What happens when you are ready to explore kinky sex – but are already in a long term relationship? How do you begin to explore erotic power play – with your beloved spouse? What does it take to explore kinky sex while keeping your marriage intact?

In this podcast we share some advice for anyone looking to get kinky in a long term relationship.

If you are ready to explore kinky sex, don’t do it alone! Enroll in our Kinky Sex Mastery Online Course to be guided, step by step – so you can set yourself up for erotic success and avoid the common pitfalls that can shatter trust and intimacy.

Get Specific About Your Erotic Desires

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Get Specific About Your Erotic Desires

One of the most important sexual skills to develop is the ability to get specific. 

Sexuality is a highly personal creation – the nuances of what lights you up is yours alone to discover, explore and communicate. How do you expect to get what you want in your sex life if you don’t even know what it is or how to ask for it?

This podcast explores this essential skill and gets you started with several specific exercises to light up your erotic communication skills.

Transforming Rejection Into Refusal Encore Episode

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Transforming Rejection Into Refusal

Sexual rejection hurts – here is how to soften the blow when your partner initiates sex and you are not into it.

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Medical research shows that of all human emotions, rejection is the one that registers as physical pain.

So it is no wonder that when it comes to initiating sex, most people give up after being rejected a few times.

But if you both give up initiating sex, you are well on your way to being in a sexless marriage.

This is why it is so essential to put lots of time and effort into all of the warm up and seduction steps that we talk about so often.

But even in the warmest of relationships, sex is not always on the menu. So when you initiate intimacy, let go of your agenda. Make an agreement that intercourse is not always the inevitable finale of intimacy.

Maybe your partner is just in the mood for ! Are you willing to give them that experience?

Maybe they really want to relax and receive. Are you prepared to ?

Maybe you both just want to get naked and cuddle!

By agreeing that intimacy can look any number of ways, depending on your authentic desires, you open your love life up to way more “yes” responses and the ability to initiate intimacy fearlessly.

Even if the “yes” is a simple hug and long kiss, those micro-moments of connection add up to a way more pleasurable relationship – one where you’ll want to have an affair with your lover for many years to come!

 

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Check out this Ted talk on Emotional First Aid for more on why rejection can hurt, and how to tend to those hurts.