Here you will find some of the most common questions we get asked with links to podcast episodes and other resources to explore!
If you have a question you want our support with, the first step is to enroll in our free online course so you can be in direct touch with us!
Developing sexual techniques is not cold or clinical – it is a pleasurable way to build your skills and confidence as a lover and be able to give your lover the kind of touch and stimulation they really want.
Just like any other human experience, “sex” is actually a combination of tons of different physical, emotional and relational skills that all come together on the fly – or we struggle when we don’t have the skills we need to navigate the moment.
Here at PleasureMechanics, we offer resources and tools to develop a wide range of sexual techniques – from erotic communication and asking for what you want, to staying present during sex while you give and receive pleasure, to the skills of erotic spanking and kink for when you want to explore new thrills.
Here’s a quick menu to some of our best resources to develop sexual techniques with us. All of our online courses are backed by our no-questions-asked 30 day guarantee, so you can explore with no risk!
Wanting something and liking it are two different things – and it is worth getting to know your own circuits of wanting vs. liking – so you know which pleasures might be most satisfying!
Wanting is all about anticipation – your mind imagines the perceived rewards ahead of you and starts pulling your attention towards that perceived positive experience.
Liking is a more nuanced system of satiation – it often involves responsive desire kicking in during a positive experience and asking for more!
The experience of Liking is also very context-dependent which is why we can really like a sensation in one moment and not in another.
Explore more about wanting vs. liking and these distinct pleasure systems
Spontaneous Vs. Responsive Desire : Podcast Episode
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
A crucial step in understanding your erotic imagination is making a clear distinction between FANTASY and DESIRE. Many people try to start talking about sex by saying something like “Tell me about your fantasies. . .” While this is a great question to ask, you can run into trouble if you mix up Fantasy with Desire.
In this encore episode, originally published in 2013, we explore:
Here are some of our interactive resources to help you explore your fantasies and name your specific desires so you can get more of what you want! Ready for more? Join The Pleasure Pod & Unlock Members Only Resources
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Since 2006, we’ve been The Pleasure Mechanics, dedicated full time to exploring the power of pleasure, intimacy, joy and connection. It’s been our mission to remember the role of pleasure in our human experience and the creative, generative, healing force of eroticism.
Here’s just some of what we believe about pleasure. Ready to explore with us? Start here.
Feeling guilty about making time for pleasure?
Pleasure is often thought about as being selfish, greedy, or hedonistic. We believe in making Pleasure a Priority.
Pleasure does not just happen to us – we must actively choose to cultivate pleasure in our individual lives and in our relationships.
Pleasure is healthy, makes us feel happier, more alive, and gives us energy to fuel our days.
We believe that being fulfilled with pleasure makes us better partners, parents, friends and coworkers.
Here’s a transcript of a live talk we gave in about 2009 about “10 Ways Pleasure Can Save Your Life”
And, we believe Pleasure can SAVE your life. Literally. Here are 10 reasons why:
#10 – The autonomic nervous system controls the heart, the smooth muscles around your organs, and your glands. There are two modes – Sympathetic and Parasympathetic – Stress and Pleasure. Many adults stay stuck in the stress mode, which has devastating impact on your health. Experiencing pleasure counteracts the impact of stress and gives your body the chance to heal.
#9 – Pleasure is essential for your heart health. Pleasure activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the heart rate, lowers blood pressure and stimulates production of healthy hormones that are highly beneficial to heart health.
#8 – Every experience of pleasure activates your immune system, providing a measurable and enduring boost to your body’s natural defenses. A single moment of pleasure can boost your immune response for up to 6 hours.
#7 – Pleasurable touch creates a positive upswing in our entire system. When you are touched or cuddled, your blood chemistry can change in as little as one millionth of a second – the brain instantly responds to pleasurable touch with a flood of endorphins.
#6 – Experiencing pleasure can help us feel loved. Feeling loved and emotionally secure is essential for the overall health of mammals. Study after study shows that emotional bonds and physical contact allow mammals to thrive. Studies with infants have shown that touch and love are biological needs on par with food and water. Adults also need touch to thrive – try exchanging more couples massage at home and notice the profound difference it can make in your life!
#5 – The first five ways pleasure can save your life are all about the physical health benefits of pleasure. These health benefits should not be underestimated – more and more medical studies are confirming that pleasure, relaxation and love may be the best cure for what ails us. But we all know that quality of life is measured by much more than physical health. Pleasure is what makes our lives worth living, giving us a sense of purpose and direction. Pleasure can be a strong motivator for altruism and generosity.
#4 – Many long-term relationships and marriages end because of a lack of pleasure. Most love relationships prioritize shared pleasure in the beginning, but over the years, stress, responsibilities and duties tend to eclipse pleasure. By creating a culture of pleasure in relationships, and making it a priority to share pleasure in all forms, long term relationships can thrive.
#3 – We believe that being in tune with your authentic desires and pleasure leads to a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction with your life. A lack of fulfilling pleasure can lead to resent and regret – the toxic twins that can make you feel like you wasted time, or lived a life of someone else’s making.
#2 – We all have a unique constellation of pleasures. Our pleasures and desires are part of what makes us who we are, and we often establish our communities around shared pleasures. Paying attention to what gives you pleasure will allow you to know yourself, and build more meaningful relationships and communities.
#1 – What are you truly passionate about? What kind of pleasure lights you up, make you feel completely alive? By locating peak moments of pleasure from our past and paying attention to new passions as they emerge, we can choose to live a more passionate life.
Making pleasure a priority can bring your body back into balance, counteracting the deadly effects of stress, and may literally save your life.
And, pleasure will make you happier and more fulfilled – so you can be sure that the life you save is worth living.
Ready to start making pleasure a priority? Let’s get started.