How-To — Page 22 — Pleasure Mechanics

Erotic Communication

It is true what everyone says: communication is the lifeblood of a relationship!

But communication in a relationship is not just about having long intimate conversations over candlelight. Communication is a full-time process that happens in every interaction you have with your partner.

We communicate not just with our words, but with our bodies, sounds, touch, gestures. How close you sit on the couch together is a strong communication about how you are feeling about one another.

Because erotic communication is one of the most important skills for sexual fulfillment and healthy relationships, we have put together an interactive resource guide on erotic communication – available here or as part of a Pleasure Pod membership. Membership includes our resource pod on Erotic Communication as just one of the many curated resources for Pleasure Pod Members!

Here are some of our podcast episodes that go in depth on communication in relationships:

Speaking of Sex Podcast Episodes on Erotic Communication

Here are some brief tips to start building stronger, more positive communication with your lover:

Quick Tips on Erotic Communication

When it comes to communicating about sexual pleasure, the first step is getting comfortable talking about sex. Start by talking about sex as a general topic. Talk about stories that happen in the news and in your community. What are your sexual values? Where did your beliefs about sex come from?
If you want to ask for something specific in your sex life or guide your partner in pleasuring you more effectively, communicate with compassion and care. If possible, communicate positive first. “That feels good, could you do it a little softer?”
It is also a great idea to practice checking in about sex later that day or the next day. What could make it even better?
If something worked or felt particularly good, mention it. “I loved it when. . . “
On a day to day basis, tell your partner what pleasures you about your interactions. This creates culture of appreciation and pleasure in your relationship – and makes it easier hear feedback about what needs to change.
Ask your lover what they desire. Be willing to try new things. By asking, you open the dialogue, making it safer for both of you to express desires.

Clearly, communication is a huge topic and these are just a few tips to get you started! For our complete guide, check out our Erotic Communication guide.

BDSM

Curious about BDSM? You are not alone!

More and more couples are exploring the world of BDSM.

BDSM is an umbrella term. It stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, SadoMasochism

BDSM can include a huge range of activities, from light bondage to extreme sensation play. It is important to remember that you don’t have to do more to feel more: sometimes more subtle activities can create intense pleasure and arousal!

Join Us For An Adventure Into Kinky Sex

New To BDSM?

Here are some free podcast episodes to get started exploring the terrain of BDSM and Kink

Explore Erotic Spanking

Erotic spanking can be an amazing way to start exploring more intense sensation, power dynamics and erotic euphoria!

Erotic spanking can be gentle and seductive or rough and intense! Enroll in our online course to be guided step-by-step as you explore expanding your erotic horizons!

Female Masturbation Techniques

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Masturbation is a healthy, pleasurable part of your sex life. Whether or not you are in a relationship, making time to masturbate allows you to experience way more pleasure and unleash more powerful orgasms! Here are some thoughts on essential female masturbation techniques to get you exploring with confidence.

Masturbation is how you get to know your own body. In this episode, we first explore how to get in touch with your desires, get more aroused and learn how to have orgasms. Then, you can bring all of this knowledge to your partnered sex so you can enjoy more pleasure with your lover.

Learning new female masturbation techniques can help you discover whole new parts of your sexuality and become more in touch with how you like to be touched.

Female Masturbation Techniques: Use Your Hands

Female Masturbation Techniques Use your hands to explore your entire sexual system. Don’t rush right to your clitoris. Explore what it feels like to touch your labia, your mons and the perineum. Try lots of different kinds of stimulation to wake up new kinds of sensation. You can also zero in on the clitoris to get to orgasm – but try to experience more kinds of stimulation as you build arousal.

Many of these techniques are demonstrated in our Foreplay Mastery Course, and can be used either with a partner or as female masturbation techniques.

Essential Female Masturbation Techniques : Explore Your Sexual System

First, rest your hand on the mons and just take a few relaxed breaths.

Find the outer labia. Touch the entire outside labia, gliding one or two fingers along the length. Then, gather the flesh of the outer labia (might be quite a lot, or a small ripple of tissue) and gently pinch and roll the labia between your fingers.

Feel the texture of the lips and notice what, if any sensation, you are creating. Some people have quite a lot of erotic sensation in their outer labia – other women have very little.

Try this stroke with the inner labia as well if there is enough flesh to play with. The shape and size of the labia is different for every woman – but all have the potential of being a pleasurable part of the female sexual anatomy. Explore the area and notice what sensations you can create by stimulating the labia. Stimulating the labia is important, as it brings blood flow to the genitals and begins waking up the area without direct clitoral stimulation.

The perineum is a highly sensitive part of the female anatomy that often goes overlooked. The perineum is a nexus of nerves and an intersection of musculature. Use your thumb in small circles on the perineum. Pulse in and out, using quite deep pressure. Move one finger in small circles around the perineum.

Rest your fingers just outside the entrance to the vagina. Pause. Explore this area of the opening – there are a lot of nerve endings here and circling around the outside can be highly stimulating. Use a fingerpad and trace circles around the entrance, and trace small circles for a few moments just inside the entrance along the bottom wall, then vibrate your finger a little.

If you can reach, use your own fingers to explore your g-spot and try a range of stimulation techniques to see how much sensation you can feel inside. Try circles, long strokes, pulses and vibrations around the g-spot and see what feels best. Combine g-spot stimulation with clitoral stimulation for maximum pleasure.

Female Masturbation Techniques: Use Toys

We believe that hands are the best sexual tool ever invented! But there are lots of female masturbation techniques that can only be explored with toys. Check out our page on sex toys to get linked up to some of our favorite toys.

Smartballs are one of our favorite kinds of sex toys. These weighted balls arouse a lot of vaginal sensation, strengthen your pelvic muscles and can be a great compliment to clitoral stimulation.

You can also explore with the wide range of sex toys that are available. Like anal stimulation? Try incorporating butt plugs into your masturbation. Love your nipples played with? Put nipple clamps on and tug at them as you touch your clitoris. Your body is your own playground – explore it fully!

The more female masturbation techniques you experiment with, the more knowledge you will gain about your sexuality. Then you’ll be able to communicate with your lover and ask for exactly what you want in bed.

Is Anal Sex Dangerous?

Many people want to explore backdoor play but have the question: Is Anal Sex Dangerous? The truth is, anal sex can be extremely dangerous – or extremely healthy and pleasurable. It is all about how you approach anal sex! Check out the information below and set your mind at ease.

For more information on preparation and hygiene, check out our pages on How to Prepare for Anal Sex

What Makes Anal Sex Dangerous?

Anal sex is not inherently dangerous. But it CAN be dangerous without the right preparation, skills and knowledge. If you want to enjoy this form of sexual pleasure, empower yourself with all of the skills and know-how in our online course.

Anal sex is a very intense form of penetration and can be dangerous in a number of ways. Primarily, if you rush penetration you can damage the sphincter muscles and the sensitive tissues of the rectum. This kind of injury can be very painful and last for weeks or months. Damaging the tissues of the rectum also opens up the bloodstream to infection: both sexually transmitted infections like HIV and infections from fecal matter. Both types of infections are extremely dangerous, possibly even fatal.

How Do I Make Anal Sex Less Dangerous?

You can reduce the risk of anal sex dramatically by changing your approach to anal penetration. What makes anal sex dangerous is the fact that most of the time the sensitivity and tenderness of the anus is ignored.

The truth is anal sex is dangerous only if you damage the tissues – if you approach gently and pay attention to what the body you are touching wants, anal sex doesn’t have to be dangerous at all! Forget everything about what you learned in porn movies – the speed and intensity of that type of anal sex is dangerous!

You must go slowly and respect the body you are touching. Never push past resistance as you penetrate the anus. Touch with lots of care and patience to allow the body to open up to anal penetration. This is the only way to have 100% pain-free anal sex! Get started by enrolling in our online course, Anal Sex Mastery, to learn how to stimulate the external anal area for maximum pleasure and start introducing penetration with your fingers.

We also recommend you use condoms and plenty of lube every time you have anal sex – even if you are otherwise “fluid bonded.” Condoms decreases the risk associated with infections. Lube is essential for anal sex – the anus, unlike the vagina, is not self-lubricating. So be sure to use lots of lubricant and reapply whenever needed.

How To Prepare For Anal

For Maximum Pleasure, Learn How To Prepare For Anal Play

Learning how to prepare for anal sex will relieve a lot of anxiety and allow you to relax into the pleasure of anal stimulation. Here is a complete guide on how to prepare for anal sex, whether you are playing with your fingers, a toy or a penis.

Anal penetration requires a bit of preparation, so it is best if you know if anal is on the menu so you can get your body ready for this highly intimate form of touch.

Before penetrating, Be Sure to Learn about External Anal Stimulation, the key to painless and pleasurable penetration!

Preparation for anal sex can range from a quick shower to full internal rinses, gloves and other forms of barrier protection. Anal penetration with your fingers, as we teach in our Anal Sex Mastery and Prostate Massage Mastery courses is a low-risk activity for the transmission of infections. Anal penetration with a penis, however, is considered one of the highest risk activities and an advanced sexual technique.

If you are going to penetrate your lover’s anus with your penis, please use a high-quality condom and water-based or silicone lubricant and learn about safe sex practices.This page covers anal sex preparation techniques that will help you feel more comfortable and confident while enjoying anal penetration and anal sex. Before proceeding, check out our article on hygiene and preparation for external anal touch. Here is how to prepare for penetrative anal sex.

How To Prepare For Anal: Keep It Clean!

The first rule of anal penetration: do not spread bacteria from the anus to the genitals. Think of the anus and the genitals as distinct areas – even while stimulating the two at the same time. Do not touch the anus and genitals with the same hand, and wash your hands or change gloves if you switch from one area to the other. The anus and the genitals are two distinct ecosystems and you do not want to spread bacteria from the anus to the genitals. Keep one hand reserved for anal touch, the other clean for genital touch.
Our Anal Sex Mastery Course demonstrate simultaneous genital and anal stimulation using two hands – this is one of the most pleasurable ways to stimulate the entire sexual system at once.You can use nitrile or latex gloves for quick and easy clean-up, so your hands can keep moving without a break to wash your hands. Again, practice common sense – if you use gloves, change them often and anytime you switch activities. If you don’t wear gloves, go to the bathroom and wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water.

Arousal is Essential for Anal Sex Preparation

Arousal is an important part of how to prepare for anal play. To make anal stimulation as pleasurable as possible, include lots of foreplay and arousal before touching the anus. Our Foreplay Mastery Course shows you how to stimulate her entire sexual system to create intense arousal before you use the techniques demonstrated in our Anal Sex Mastery Course. Remember, anal penetration is just as pleasurable for some men as it is for some women. If your man is into anal play, check out our Foreplay Mastery Course to learn how to simulate his entire sexual system and create intense arousal. The combination of prostate massage and handjobs creates an incredible erotic experience for men.

How To Prepare for Anal Sex

One of the most common concerns about internal anal stimulation is poop. Feces, stool – whatever you want to call it – poop is not what most people want to encounter during sex. Thankfully, it is much worse in your imagination than in reality. Poop is not stored in the rectum, the area you will be touching with even deep internal touch. Poop passes through the rectum only when you are actively having a bowel movement. If you have had a bowel movement recently, there is not large amounts of feces in the rectum – you may find trace amounts, but that is it.
Most people can enjoy anal play for years without ever having a major gross-out. The pleasure most people get out of anal play (especially when done with skill, confidence and patience) more than makes up the slight discomfort you’ll feel if you touch a trace amount of your lover’s poop.Of course, you can also completely minimize the chances of touching poop. The person receiving anal touch can rinse out internally, creating assurance that the rectum is clean. Or, the giver of anal touch can wear gloves.

Use Gloves for Anal Hygiene and Quick Clean Up

Wearing a latex, vinyl or nitrile glove is a simple way to keep everything clean and easy to clean up. Vinyl or nitrile glove are great for anal stimulation. They feel smooth and soft on sensitive skin, and when you are finished the gloves can be stripped and disposed of easily.Make sure you take the time to find gloves to fit the person giving the massage- the touch will feel much better when the gloves fit taut against the skin. Latex is a developed allergy, degrades over time and can cause uncomfortable reactions in the sensitive tissues of the anus. Vinyl and nitrile are only a few pennies more per glove, and offer better protection.

An Internal Rinse : Enemas and Anal Hygiene

If you would like to rinse internally, you have a few easy options. If you are trying an internal rinse, do so at least fifteen minutes before you engage in anal play. A disposable bulb enema is quick and easy. Fill the bulb with plain warm water, gently insert the nozzle into your anus and squeeze the bulb, immediately allowing the water to rinse out. Repeat several times, or until the water runs clear. Never use hot or cold water- aim for wrist-temperature warm. Make sure you release all water – linger for a few minutes and completely relax to make sure everything is out of your system. Never use a vinegar solution, soap or anything other than plain water.Larger enema bags are not required for anal hygiene, and may cause discomfort. If you are interested in receiving a full colonic enema, it is recommended that you see a professional or do additional research before trying it at home. If you ever feel cramps or discomfort, stop your enema immediately and allow the water to pass.

Lubricant: An Essential Tool for Anal Sex

Another essential tool for pleasurable anal penetration and anal sex is lubricant. Water-based lubricants are now readily found in every major drugstore and even many supermarkets. Silicone-based lubricants are a great choice for anal play, as they will stay slick and not dry out like water based lubricants. See our complete guide to choosing a lube for complete information.Use plenty of lube, reapplying when needed. External and internal anal massage can be highly arousing, without a moment of discomfort. If you experience any pain at any point in the massage, slow down or stop. There is no need to endure anything.Preparing for anal play can make this intimate exchange more pleasurable and allow you to relax deeper into the experience. Thorough cleansing prior to the sexual encounter will take your worries away, and proper hygiene including gloves and lubricant will make the experience more enjoyable for both you and your partner.

Use Condoms Every Time

Even if you don’t use condoms for vaginal sex (because you are in a monogamous relationship and not concerned with birth control, otherwise use them every time for vaginal sex as well!) you might want to consider using condoms for anal sex. Condoms allow for much easier clean-up and if you want to transition between anal and vaginal sex you can simply change condoms and be ready to move on to the next activity.

Anal sex is considered a high-risk sexual activity, so condoms will put your mind at ease and minimize the risk of transmitting any kind of infection. Make sure you and your lover are both on the same page about if you are going to use condoms or not so there are no surprises!