How-To — Page 4 — Pleasure Mechanics

Powerful Submission

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Erotic submission doesn’t have to be about being denigrated, humiliated or punished. It doesn’t have to look like cowering at the feet of your dominant partner or crying out in pain. It can include any and all of these things, if that pleases you. But it can also be about standing in your full power, feeling potent and courageous. It can be a glorious demonstration of your strength and endurance. In one of the endless twists and turns of kinky sex, erotic submission can help you feel the most powerful you’ve ever felt!

In a previous podcast, Charlotte explored one aspect of male submission: the idea of men taking a submissive domestic role in order to serve a dominant female partner.

We received a lot feedback after this episode, mainly from men who desired erotic submission but didn’t identify with the “sissymaid” role or crave domestic service as part of their kinky play. Some of these men worried they were not the “right” kind of submissive or didn’t fully “get” what male erotic submission was all about.

On this episode, Chris explores another aspect of male submission: noble, powerful submission. This type of erotic submission has a very long history (including the root of the word chivalry!) and is just as valid as any other. In fact there are endless varieties of erotic submission to fit any personality style and constellation of desires! There is no “right” style of erotic submission: only what is right for you.

Noble, powerful submission brings full masculine power and strength into the role of erotic submission. Training in order to serve a higher power is a core part of the masculine warrior archetype. Think of a knight training in order to serve his beloved queen. Think of an athlete, glistening with sweat, ready to perform in order to help his team win. Imagine an endurance test where a wicked dominant woman is subjecting you to all kinds of sensation play, seeing just where your breaking point might be.

This kind of submission is all about developing more power, strength and courage so you can endure more intense tests of your grit and might. Explore it for yourself and see if it excites you!

Ready to explore kinky sex? Check out the Kinky Sex Mastery Course!

Why Explore Female Domination & Male Submission?

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Curious about kinky sex? Here’s a look into one particular flavor of kink: female domination and male submission.

We share some of the reasons why it is such a powerful turn on – for both men and women – when the woman takes control and the man submits fully to her power. This form of erotic power exchange can unlock new arenas of sexual pleasure for you both – and do wonders for your relationship!

This podcast features an excerpt from The Mistress Manual : The Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance by Mistress Lorelei

Figging and Botanical Sex

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Figging and Botanical Sex :: Free Podcast Episode

Figging and Botanical Sex:

Ever heard of figging? What about using aloe in the bedroom?

The plant kingdom offer us a wide range of sexy sensations if we approach the idea with a creative and open mind.

For thousands of years, plants and humans have had a sensual relationship. Think about the fragrance of roses seducing us on a warm spring day, or the electric colors of autumn leaves in the sunlight. But have you ever considered bringing plants into your bedroom as sensual tools?

Here are a few ideas to get you started. If you enjoy erotic botanical play, you’ll find endless possibilities to explore! We cover figging and botanical play in our online course Kinky Sex Mastery.

Figging:

The practice of figging dates back many centuries, and is found in the erotic history of many different cultures. There is some evidence that it was used in ancient Greece and the Roman Empire, both as a means of punishment and as an erotic practice. It is well documented as a form of domestic punishment in Victorian England.

Figging is inserting a piece of peeled ginger root in an orifice – most often the anus- to create a burning sensation. When the recipient clenches the anal sphincters, the ginger root releases oils that cause an intense burning sensation in the sensitive tissues of the rectum. Some people love the sensation and find it exquisitely pleasurable. Others experience the sensation as a form of erotic punishment and include it as part of erotic power exchange.

Start slowly when you are exploring figging. It is valuable to explore the sensation of rubbing the ginger root on the external anal sphincters before penetrating to see if you are interested in exploring this specific kind of sensation further. Then, try leaving the ginger root in place for short periods as you get acquainted with the sensations. When choosing a ginger root, look for a piece that has a flared base so the root is not pulled into the rectum. Peel just a small knob of the ginger and leave the rest intact. Throw away the ginger after play – don’t return it to the kitchen!

Aloe:

If your lover likes back scratches, try bringing aloe into your erotic play! Cut a stem of aloe off of the plant, and then use the sharp edges to scratch your lover’s back. Start gently and increase pressure until they are squirming with pleasure. Then, once their skin is hot and sensitive from all of the scratching, start slapping their skin with the broad, smooth side of the aloe. Soon, it will break open, spraying cooling aloe juice all over their skin. The combination of scratching, slapping and cooling moisture is delicious!

Rosemary & Lavender:

Many people use scented candle to set a romantic mood, but why rely on the fake scents when the real thing is within reach? When it is in season, gather a bouquet of lavender, rosemary and other beautifully scented plants. Then, drag them along your lover’s skin to release the pure oils of the plants. You’ll create nice tickling and scratching sensations while flooding your bedroom with incredible scent. You can also do some light flogging with them, which floods the room with even more scent.

Roses:

Surprise your lover with a special flogging session. Instead of reaching for a leather flogger, buy a dozen long stem roses. Use a vegetable peeler to remove the thorns, running your hands along each stem to make sure you haven’t missed any thorns. Put the roses in a vase by your bed, and the next time you make love, gather them up and run the flowers along your lover’s skin. Then, if you wish, proceed to flogging your lover’s back with the bouquet. Soon, rose petals will be showering down over your lover, creating a dramatic climax and an unforgettable erotic experience.

With a little creativity you can find endless varieties of plants to create fun sensations and bring more sensual pleasure into your erotic play. Pussy willow brushed up and down the skin is divine. Young branches of willow have been used as whips for centuries. Some people even love the sting of nettles incorporated into their intense sensation play!

Stay safe with botanical erotic play!

Avoid plants that have been sprayed with pesticides (organic is better in the kitchen AND the bedroom!) Some people will have strong reactions to them, we’ve heard stories of people bathing in rose petals and then breaking out in rashes from the residual pesticides.
Be on the lookout for allergic reactions – if any plant causes a rash, itchiness or any other reaction, don’t use it again!
Use caution when using plants inside the vagina or anus. Cover cucumbers and other plants with condoms before inserting, as the waxy coatings and residuals sprays can cause reactions. Remember that anything inserted in the anus must have a flared base to prevent it getting pulled into the rectum!
Avoid using sugary foods (like berries for example) around the vulva to prevent throwing of the pH balance of the vagina, which can lead to yeast infections.
If you love botanicals, you may want to have sex outdoors. Click here to find out how to enjoy the erotic thrills of the great outdoors without being caught!

Ready to explore kinkier sex? Enroll now in our Kinky Sex Mastery course and get started tonight!

Sexual Satisfaction

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23 Proven Strategies For Sexual Satisfaction

Want sexual satisfaction in a long term relationship? Want to keep passion alive for the long haul? For most of us these are clear goals, but what are the proven strategies to make it happen? A recent study published in The Journal of Sex Research reveals some answers. Hit play on the podcast above or read on to learn more about the study.

Ask yourself: Out of the following 17 behaviors and 6 communication strategies, what are you most eager to experience? What might you be willing to try out in the coming weeks?

Science Says Try This For Sexual Satisfaction:

exchange mini massages more regularly (Check out the Couples Massage course!)
talk about sex out loud (listen to our podcast together and talk about what comes up!)
take a shower or bath together
make a standing date night once or twice a month – give yourself something to look forward to!
go on a romantic getaway, even a day trip to a nearby town gets the novelty hormones flowing!
use a vibrator or sex toy together
try anal stimulation (Check out the Anal Sex Mastery course!)
watch ethical porn together – check out the stunning pay-what-you-want site Bellesa
talk about your fantasies
have sexual contact in a public place (without getting caught!)
try light kink (check out the Kinky Sex course!)
invite another person into bed with you (here’s How To Have A Threesome)

Communication Techniques For Sexual Satisfaction

learn how to ask for what you want in bed
praise partner about something they did in bed
ask for feedback on how something felt
call/e-mail/text to tease about doing something sexual
gently give feedback about how partner did something in bed
say “i love you” or laugh during sex

The research, led by David A. Frederick of Chapman University, was designed to look at sexual satisfaction in long term relationships. The study surveyed over 38,000 men and women who have been in a relationship for more than three years. The researchers used large mainstream websites to gather survey participants. The survey asked about sexual satisfaction in the first six months of a relationship in comparison to current sexual satisfaction, and then went on to take a look at what behaviors were most associated with reports of sexual satisfaction and passion in long term relationships.

The study revealed many interesting patterns about sexual satisfaction. The first was that sexually satisfied couples use a wider range of sex acts in the bedroom to stay interested and engaged with one another. The study asked about 17 different sex acts, and the satisfied couples had way more variety in their sex lives when compared to the dissatisfied couples.

“Sexual satisfaction and maintenance of passion were higher among people who had sex more frequently, received more oral sex, had more consistent orgasms, incorporated more variety of sexual acts, took the time to set a mood and practiced effective sexual communication,” said David Frederick, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at Chapman University and lead author of the study. “Almost half of satisfied and dissatisfied couples read sexual self-help books and magazine articles, but what set sexually satisfied couples apart was that they actually tried some of the ideas.”

The research revealed that sexually satisfied couples engaged in a wider variety of sexual behaviors, such as cuddling, gentle and deep kissing and laughing together during sexual activity; incorporated more acts of sexual variety such as trying new sexual positions or acting out fantasies; more frequently set a romantic or sexual mood such as lighting candles or playing music, and used communication effectively, such as saying “I love you” during sex or sending a sexually suggestive text earlier in the day. They also found that sexually satisfied men and women gave and received more oral sex, orgasmed more frequently, and had sex more frequently.

Another interesting finding was that both satisfied and dissatisfied people read about the same amount of sex advice in magazines and online – but the ones that actually act on the advice and try new things are the ones that report being more satisfied. Just like you won’t get physically fit by watching sports, you don’t gain sexual satisfaction just by reading advice or listening to a podcast! We can suggest new activities and strategies for you, but you’ll only benefit if you take action!

There is a two-way relationship between the behaviors that create sexual satisfaction and the feeling of being sexually satisfied. Do sexually satisfied couples try more novel acts in the bedroom, or does trying more novel acts make a couple more satisfied? The answer, clearly, is both are true.

Just like in other areas of life, behavior can change attitudes and beliefs. And, of course, changing your attitudes can change your behavior.

So why not try adopting some of the behaviors of sexually satisfied couples and see what happens?

This study points to one simple truth: staying curious and open in your sexual relationship is a proven way to create sexual satisfaction. And remember – you can’t just read sexual advice like the kind we offer here at PleasureMechanics.com – you have to take action! Go for it and report back to us about your own levels of sexual satisfaction and what you do to stay sexually satisfied in your long term relationship!

Source: David A. Frederick, Janet Lever, Brian Joseph Gillespie & Justin R. Garcia (2016): What Keeps Passion Alive? Sexual Satisfaction Is Associated With Sexual Communication, Mood Setting, Sexual Variety, Oral Sex, Orgasm, and Sex Frequency in a National U.S. Study, The Journal of Sex Research, DOI:10.1080/00224499.2015.1137854

Prostate Milking

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What Is Prostate Milking?

Prostate milking involves direct stimulation of the prostate gland with the goal of expressing prostatic fluid, with or without orgasm. Prostate milking uses a finger or toy inserted anally to reach the prostate gland, which is then stimulated using a variety of techniques.

Many men report that prostate stimulation leads to the most powerful orgasms of their lives. Yet many men are hesitant to explore prostate milking or massage. Many believe that involving anal stimulation in their sex lives might confuse their sexual orientation. This is simply not true: men of all sexual orientations have the same sexual anatomy and can enjoy erotic stimulation of all kinds. Sexual orientation is determined by who you are attracted to, not what you do in bed!

Will Prostate Milking Get Me Addicted?

Some guys are worried that they’ll get “addicted” or “hooked” to the intense pleasures of prostate milking. While you may experience a peak erotic experience through prostate milking, it won’t ruin other pleasures. Think of a great steak dinner – you may love it once in awhile, but it doesn’t make a great burger any less pleasurable!

How Do I Get Started With Prostate Milking?

Ready to explore prostate stimulation? Check out the Prostate Massage Mastery Online Course to learn everything you need to know in the privacy of your own home!

This episode was recorded in response to the following question, submitted via email.

First, I can’t believe I am about to type this out….

This morning I decided to pleasure myself and add some prostate stimulation to the mix using a little curved glass number in the collection. Do I really need the default ‘butt play’ disclosure of ‘Im not gay’? but damn if it doesn’t feel good.

So this time I decided to fully commit, no ‘just the tip’. I decided to go for it and determine if the legend/myths were real; I already knew it felt good but not to the extent of milking…My experience this morning led me to your site because it was so mind blowing I needed to do more research.

In the milking process the site says you will get a small amount of fluid in the prostate released which would be clear. This did happen to me, HOWEVER, it was feeling so good I abandoned my man parts and focused strictly on the massage; what happened next is the reason for this long question. I reached this climax where clear liquid shot out of my mini me for about 7 or 8 seconds;I couldn’t stop it. It felt friggin insanely awesome at the same time I am freaking out.

after it was over I wasn’t disgusted with myself (I usually am) I was high, euphoric even. In my panic I am grabbing feeling smelling this liquid wondering did I piss myself or what! I noticed the clear liquid was slick like a lube, like the pre-cum but not tacky at all, pure watery. I kept smelling my hands and grabbing the sheets and taking huge wiffs and got nothing. I was now intrigued and decided to use it to go at it the old fashion way. My brain has been consumed with this all day! What the heck was all that fluid!

The weird part is I think I mentally broke myself; I don’t think I will ever view me the same way…I thought I knew everything and have done everything when it comes to sex; my wife even says I should have been a sex expert…I loved what happened but am scared that if I do it again, it may become an addiction to where it would be my preferred method of pleasure and I would lose the love of a regular climax.
This is not a joke, I am not a troll, I didn’t make this up…I just wanted to tell someone and at the same time ask WHAT THE FUGGG happened to me. Was it 40 years of buildup…do men squirt lol, I don’t know anymore, I am now questioning everything I thought I knew…the sad part is I can’t tell anyone because no one in my circle is sexually aware HELP