Pleasure Mechanics

Sexting Tips

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Sexting Tips For Grown Ups

Is sexting just for teens? How can adults use sexting to have a happier sex life? In this free podcast, we tackle the topic of sexting and provide guidance on mature, smart ways to use sexting in your grown up relationship! We offer practical sexting tips to make sexting more fun and more effective for creating the sex life you want!

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 Sexting Tips:

Here are a few brief sexting tips. We go into way more detail in the podcast episode!

  •  Use a private messaging app to keep your sexting separate from the rest of your texting, so you never get caught in an embarrassing moment!
  • Remember that anything you sext is out there forever, so don’t sext and regret it later!
  • Tell your lover exactly what kind of language turns you on (especially for body parts and sex acts)
  • Don’t be a sexting tease: follow through with your promises!
  • Be honest: sext about what you really enjoy doing, so sexting can enhance your sex life and you can avoid confusion
  • Play on the spectrum from flirty to raunchy – what kind of sexting do you like best?
  • Make sexting more romantic! Share moments of pleasure, gratitude and celebration with your lover via text. Also don’t forget to use texting to give your lover praise and compliments!

Resources Mentioned In This Episode: Between App 

Is Porn Sabotaging Your Relationship?

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Is Porn Sabotaging Your Relationship?

What happens when using porn gets in the way of a good relationship? A listener wrote in wanting to know what to do after catching her boyfriend using porn.

We share an amazing resource that looks at the long term effects of porn on the male brain, including the all too common issue of porn induced erectile dysfunction.

Is watching porn to blame for his inability to be intimate with her? What can be done without demonizing porn itself?

We dive deep to explore this common issue and provide advice and strategies for couples who want to make sure that porn doesn’t get in the way of their sex life!

We would love to hear from YOU about how porn affects your sex life – whether you’ve found that porn has caused you to struggle with erections, you struggle with balancing porn and your relationship or you’ve found a way to use porn in a healthy way, we want to hear from you! Contact us here. 

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Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

Don John Movie

Full text of the letter that inspired this episode: 

Question:: Hi ladies,
I’m asking your opinion about something because I trust your advice, and so far the internet has given me mixed answers. The other night I came home early to walk in on my partner (of 2 years) jerking off to porn. This came at sort of a bad time, as I was already feeling like we were in a bit of a rut and was hoping to talk to him about it. That night I was just looking forward to getting home from work and spending time with him, maybe having sex.

What I feel now is hurt, excluded, disappointed, and a little disgusted. I know I’m not supposed to feel any of those things, that porn is something all guys look at at some point in their lives, and I guess many women too. It has never appealed to me; in fact I find it incredibly sexist. My man isn’t sexist about anything else, and usually very vocal about women’s liberation and social equality, so it’s hard for me to reconcile that version of him with the one I saw the other night.

Also I feel like he is spending sexual energy away from me. He says he uses it only as a physical stimulus, to get off when I’ve been busy or unavailable for sex, and that it is completely separate from our relationship. I suspect he is only telling me what he thinks I want to hear, though. And there have been times when I’ve initiated sex and he can’t perform because he’s already masturbated that day.

It’s not the masturbation I have trouble with – I accept that as perfectly normal! It just never occurred to me that there was porn involved. He won’t masturbate in front of me (I’ve asked) and says that masturbation/porn is a very personal time for him. I’m now taking that to mean that he has a sexual (if not emotional) connection with these imaginary women, who he also views as “sexually liberated,” which must mean he thinks I’m not sexually liberated.

This has all been one big emotional mess for me and I would appreciate any advice you have at all. It feels like he’s cheating, even though most sources say it’s not. He thinks its not, because it’s not emotional. Am I completely in the wrong to feel like this? I think my relationship depends on whether I can accept this or not. I’ve said all of this to him, but the conversation just goes around in circles and we can’t seem to reach any mutual understanding. I would like to know what other women think.
Sorry for the long message. Cheers,

B

Bi Curious

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Bi Curious? Bisexual? Or Just Fantasizing?

Bi Curious, Bisexual, or Just Fantasizing?

A listener writes in wanting to know if her bisexual fantasies means that she is bisexual. If she is bi, does that mean she needs to tell her boyfriend? Should she try to make her bisexual fantasies a reality, or just stay secretly bi curious?

We explore the complexity of sexual desire, how to tell a fantasy from a desire and the ethics of fantasizing during sex with your partner.

We also offer a range of options for exploring bi curious desires without risking your relationship.

Being bi curious doesn’t mean that you are going to cheat on your partner, or that you need to feel guilty about your fantasies. Being bi curious just means you – like all the rest of your fellow humans – are a complex erotic being! Human desire is not simple, so you don’t need to feel upset about your bi curious feelings. You can choose to have a conversation with your lover and share your bi curious fantasies, or keep your fantasies to yourself!

Many people choose to explore their bi curious desires by having a threesome. Threesomes can be a great way to explore same sex desire – or they can be an erotic disaster! If you want to explore the possibility of having a threesome, grab your copy of our book How To Have A Threesome. Don’t even TRY to have a threesome without it!

Erotic Bondage Basics For Better Sex

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Bondage Basics For Better Sex

In this episode, we talk about how bondage can be a pleasurable part of your sex life.

Bondage doesn’t have to be intricate or extreme to be incredibly hot!

For some people, bondage is a way to relax and focus on the sensations of sex.

For others, bondage can create a hot excuse to struggle and get more bestial during sex, which many people find very cathartic!

Want to dive into your erotic bondage fantasy? Enroll in the Kinky Sex Mastery Course to get started exploring kinky sex!

Gear up! Choose from the wide selection of quality bondage gear available at SheVibe

Why Explore Erotic Bondage?

Erotic bondage can add thrills and excitement to your sex life – and it doesn’t have to be scary or intense! Erotic bondage can be gentle, sensual and seductive. It offers an opportunity to escape everyday life and be held captive in your lover’s care.

For some people, erotic bondage creates the delicious experience of surrender. For others, it is empowering and gives permission to release pent up desire. For most, erotic bondage adds a highly arousing dimension to sex with a trusted lover.

Erotic bondage can be a delicious way to add more variety, interest and heat to sex you already enjoy. In this podcast, we share how to get started with erotic bondage while minimizing risk.

We go over why erotic bondage is so sexy, safer alternatives to handcuffs, basic safety and consent information and what to do with your lover once you have them in bondage! Do you want to play a tease and denial game? Or lavish your lover in sensual pleasures? Do you want to experience the serenity of bondage, or resist and pull against your restraints? Once you begin exploring erotic bondage you get to create the erotic experience that fulfills your unique sexual desires.

Many people are concerned that bondage is demeaning or degrading. We believe that when you choose to participate out of your own authentic desire, the pleasure of erotic bondage can be liberating and empowering. Many stressed out people, who have to be in control in every aspect of their lives, enjoy the surrender of bondage. It becomes an opportunity to relax and release into a world of sensation and pleasure. For many, erotic bondage creates a sense of freedom!

At the end of the show, Charlotte reads an excerpt from the new book in the Fantasy A-Z series, B is for Bondage.

If you’ve ever been curious about erotic bondage, this is a must-listen episode of Speaking of Sex!

Bondage

Erotic Bondage

Have ever fantasized about being tied up and losing yourself in a world of sensation? Feeling the snug hold of the cuffs as you give yourself over to sex? You are not alone! Erotic bondage is one of the most popular themes in sexual fantasies and kinky desires.

Erotic bondage gives you the opportunity to fully surrender to your lover’s touch. There is nowhere to go and you can struggle all you’d like: you are theirs.

From simple velcro cuffs to intricate rope bondage, there are tons of ways to play with erotic bondage. 

ALL erotic bondage requires active and ongoing consent, communication and awareness to safety for all involved. Here are some basic erotic bondage safety pointers – more skills and awareness will be required for various levels of erotic bondage!

Podcasts About Erotic Bondage

Bondage Resources